Donut ministries are America’s new crimefighter

Posted: February 16, 2009 in Denominational Fun, Good for a Giggle, On Your Wall, The Obvious Files
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

DATELINE: Bloomington, Indiana.

donut-policeThis is the modest hometown of a hankering kleptomaniac and a real dunderhead, Morgan D. Brock, Jr. who was arrested for burglary of Woodhaven Christian Church.

However, he’s not famous because of what he stole… but how he was caught, according to the Indianapolis Star:

Police said a number of musical instruments were taken, but officers found a box of doughnuts in the church’s kitchen and noticed a bite had been taken from one of the doughnuts. Deputies sent the half-eaten doughnut to the Indiana State Police lab for testing. Authorities received confirmation in November that DNA left on the treat matched Brock.

So, this guy is half-baked when he breaks in and what does he see is the proverbial cheese for this mouse. A lovely day-old chocolate twist and just a little smidge of lipstick from “Big Mama” who got the munchies for her solo in the choir.

He couldn’t help it, and who would care. He already snagged the 27″ black and white Panasonic, so why not.

Got milk? Evidently, he did and his tell-all glazed goatee was the only hint police needed when they nabbed young Brock. Nice.

In related news, Woodhaven Christian Church’s donut ministry is now the proud owner of a waiting list, a year’s worth of volunteers and a whole lot of new police type friends. Ironic, eh?

  1. Vaughn says:

    I guess that’s why they stopped calling REFORM school, reform school, because reform wasn’t the order of the day.

    Stictly HOUSING!!!

  2. Vaughn says:

    I guess I ought not laugh, but am in a way (the peculiar way, not the ha ha way).

    Talk about a real dummy, well he’ll probably have plenty of time to catch up on his CSI shows, in effort to become a better criminal. Or should I be the eternal optimist?

    • hiscrivener says:

      You giggle (and I know I sure did), but I have an acquaintance of mine who is a prison guard and wouldn’t ya know, those CSIs and “Without a Trace”s are big stop downs for the incarcerated. Tips, maybe? Personally, I think it’s so they can have someone to cheer on… you know, right before they get busted.

      How’s that for optimism, Vaughn. 🙂


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