Apocalypse Watch: It’s gonna be a “bang-up” time in Arkansas churches

Posted: February 12, 2009 in Above the Fold, Follow up, IJS, On Your Wall
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A couple of weeks ago, we ruminated about some fresh paint on the Wall surrounding a possibility of Arkansas law makers permitting pastors and parishioners to pack heat in church. Well, what was just a story has now been upgraded to DEFCON 4 and placed on “Apocalypse Watch.”

Why? The law actually passed the Arkansas House. Good times in Redneck Nation!

House Bill 1237, the church-guns bill, won approval on a 57-42 vote. The bill by Rep. Beverly Pyle, R-Cedarville, would amend state law to remove churches and other places of worship from the list of places where people with permits are not allowed to carry guns. “Due to many shootings that have happened in our churches across our nation, it is time we changed our concealed handgun law to allow law-abiding citizens of the state of Arkansas the right to defend themselves and others should a situation happen in one of our churches,” Pyle told House members.

Pastor, get the parking lot mini-skree. We have a problem.

Pastor, get the parking lot mini-skree. We have a problem.

Not to mention, the other non-law-abiding citizens who think crashing a praise party while smoking caps everywhere is a good idea.

I said it once, but I suppose my larynx hasn’t been abused enough for the Arkansas State Congress to hear me, so here goes: “Is this ever a good idea?” Believe me, whatever side of the political fence you are on, having a carry and conceal license is always a good idea… but in a church?!

Let’s see what some flag-waving, eagle-flying-overhead representative from the home of Wal-Mart has to pontificate:

“Having guns in church will not stop some lunatic from coming into your building and shooting somebody,” Breedlove said. “Ronald Reagan was completely surrounded by armed guards, but he was still shot. That is why we must put our faith in God and not in something else.

Well, not that some scorned ex-boyfriend will need a sniper scope to pop his former squeeze sitting in the choir loft, but thanks for the patriotic analogy nonetheless.

I get it, “Faith without works is dead.” You can’t just sit on your blessed assurance if you are unemployed and expect God’s provision to drop a six-figure gig in your lap. Ed McMahon doesn’t travel house-to-house with that sweepstakes any more. You have put your faith in action.

Similarly, you can’t walk into a gun fight with a set of nunchakus because you think you got Bruce Lee’s game. It’s not a fair fight. BAM! You’re pushing up daisies. But how will this law help anything?

Can you imagine a revival service and the Holy Spirit shows up? [Cue harp music]

Folk start running the aisles, pastor gets an anointing for the people. Suddenly, one of the catchers trips leaving the pastor with the bad back to catch “Big Mama.” He tries, breaks a hip and off goes his 9 MM resting in the bosom of his pocket, without the safety.

Puh-lease. You don’t think this will be an episode on TBN? Wait until a live church service and see what happens.

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