So, there’s this new poll the Pew Forum developed that is about as soothsaying as a press release advising Christians that the Pope is Catholic, Billy Graham is really Baptist and those funny looking hats Rabbis wear really aren’t frisbees, coasters or pasties.

The grandiose discovery? Black people are more religious than the rest of the U.S. population.

While the U.S. is generally considered a highly religious nation, African-Americans are markedly more religious on a variety of measures than the U.S. population as a whole, including level of affiliation with a religion, attendance at religious services, frequency of prayer and religion’s importance in life,” the report says.

black-church“Oh please, HiScrivener. White folks are uber-sanctimonious. And have been to a Catholic church in the barrio lately?” Listen, I get that, but I double-dog dare you to do this…

Walk up to any crackhead. I’m not talking potentially homeless and panhandling. I’m talking crusty lips, ashy-mouthed, looking to borrow a TV to sell for a dimebag of rock crackhead. Then… talk about Jesus, and watch what happens.

They sit up and instantaneously – as if prodded by a TV camera at some pulpit pimp’s megachurch that I won’t waste space discussing here… at least now – and begin extolling the praises of God.

Now I could get into a long sociological and ontological discussion as to why religion seems to stick to blacks more, as opposed to any other race… and I really could… but I won’t.

Suffice to say, while white folk were um, burning up the town, there were other folk who had nothing but Jesus. Including, you know, freedom. Anywhoo… here are some highlights:

  • 79 percent of blacks say religion is important. No let’s get this straight. “Say” is the operative word because some of those same “I love the Lawd” folk will also cuss you out in a minute and drink you under the table. Amazing how conviction works, eh?
  • While 39 percent of all other folk attend church weekly, 53 percent say the same. Heck, some people I know go to “ch-uuch” three or four times a week.
  • 2/3 of blacks oppose gay marriage, while less than 50 percent of whites agree. And in other news, 93 percent of blacks voted for Obama and chucked the whole “gay marriage” thingy out the window despite those pesky convictions.

I have another highlight not found in the poll, and it shouldn’t be a surprising statistic in the slightest:

  • 100 percent of Republicans will buy this poll in its entirety to figure some novel strategies for outreach, growth and scrapbook parties in say, four years. I’m just saying.
  1. Ann Brock says:

    There’s a poll for every thing.

  2. will hapeman says:

    And in other news, 93 percent of blacks voted for Obama and chucked the whole “gay marriage” thingy out the window despite those pesky convictions.
    And abortion, and a lot. aND I JUST CAN’T BLAME THEM.

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