If Buddha wants to be a superhero, he needs to lose weight to leap even short buildings

Posted: February 4, 2009 in Good for a Giggle, Religion Potpourri, Snap, Crackle and POP Culture
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

As we know, Hollywood has been running on empty for quite a while. With goofy TV remakes and buffoonery plot screenplays coming out, it’s no wonder films are now being remade just for kicks.

It seems some of the best movies coming out these days are about Super Heroes. Look at “The Dark Knight” (Fabulous), the “Spider Man” trilogy (Nice), Iron Man (Can’t wait for the sequel) and the eagerly anticipated “Watchmen” (goody goody).

Now, heroism meets religion with “Robin Hood: The New Zen Warrior.”

Quite possibly not Zen Duke

Quite possibly not Zen Duke

Some dude named “Zen Duke” is getting nice with “I wanna look like a retread Criss Angel” getup while rocking the kung fu moves only heralded in India?!

Oh sure, you haven’t seen those great subtitled martial arts movies from the subcontinent? Come on!

Seriously, Indian Kung Fu is like spaghetti – it may have been invented in one place, but some other people took it and made it their own, and now get all the credit.

Shaolin Kung Fu was really created by an Indian monk named Tat Moh in 520 A.D. (See, you learn stuff here on the Wall). Long story short, Indian monks would make pilgrimages to China all the time. I suppose it was the spaghetti (ah, that’s why I said it). Anywhoo, he stayed and that’s all she wrote.

So enjoy the trailer, which by the way, has some gratutious and staged kissy scenes. Because, what’s a British legend gone Bollywood without a damsel in distress, who incidentally looks like she is from Laguna Beach. He kicks booty, kinda. He prays to Buddha. And he meditates… a lot.

Although I haven’t seen him rubbing his ears and chanting “WuSa”, it looks like Zen is in tune to his chakra. If that’s what you want to call that thing he is wearing looking like medieval armor. Again, it’s Hollywood. Give the Bodhi Dharma a break.

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Comments
  1. Robert says:

    KK, here’s my rebuttal =)

    I agree you were not trashing the trailer and I may have overreacted. But your post still has amazing inaccuracies that a true Christian would correct:

    1] Bollywood signifies Hindi films with song and dance. A Buddhist themed film is NOT Bollywood. Many blockbuster martial arts films have a Buddhist influence. Crouching Tiger, The Last Samurai as well as other Buddhist films like Kundun, 7 Years in Tibet, Little Buddha etc none of them is Bollywood. Calling the film Bollywood in any way is racist — yes racist because Zen Duke is a Canadian-born British actor who speaks with a posh UK accent as is obvious from the trailer. So you should not call the film British legend meets Bollywood .. that is a racist put down which got us all mighty peeved and yes we are open minded Christians who are embarrassed by other Christians who make fun of other cultures instead of appreciating them.

    2] The film does not mention Indian Kung Fu anywhere. It talks about Ta Mo aka Bodhi Dharma and how Indian spirituality like Buddhism and Zen influence the martial arts. The website mentions Daito Ryu, Chin Na and American Defendo with an endorsement from the no 1 Defendo instructor in the world Mike Mandel who incidentally is a born again Christian. So why would you write an article about Robin Hood with a focus on Indian Kung Fu? Again Seems racist to me.

    3] The couture is really cool — combining medieval and futuristic elements. The armour is woven from chain mail .. any idea how much artistry is involved. My gf is a fashion designer and was drooling over the costumes.

    4] I HATE YOUR TITLE — Buddha needs to lose weight to be a superhero. The big fat bald guy your referring to is NOT BUDDHA but Hotei — a monk often falsely identified as Buddha. See Wikipedia for more. The real Shakyamuni Buddha — founder of Buddhism was an Indian warrior prince who performed many miracles and is the “most superhero like” of all religious figures.

    So when you claim to be religious, you should be careful when you blog. Sure have a sense of humor but don’t misrepresent a film. And please please don’t be racist. Jesus never taught us to be racist. He does not condone it. The Vatican Council 2 reforms teaches us to respect all faiths .. especially those that come before us like Buddhists and Hindus. If I were you, I would re-write the blog taking away the racist connotations. Your info about Bodhi Dharma is great — only the Bollywood angle is racist as is focusing on “Indian Kung Fu”. Thats upsetting and uncalled for. Taking out racist connotations is what Jesus would do. (For eg Obama is not an African President .. he is an American one. Leave color and race out of it … wanna focus on Buddhism fine .. leave the Bollywood and Indian stuff out. Like if you are discussing Obama’s Christianity, leave Africa and Kenyan tribes out. i.e leave color of skin out of it. So a Buddhist film should not have any mention of Bollywood or Indian Kung Fu leaving out the Japanese, Chinese and American martial arts also used in the film)

    Finally, I believe that new actors and new films should be treated with kid gloves to an extent .. like give them a chance to at least make it first and let the film at least be released before you start trashing them. This applies to all artists be it film or theater or painting or music etc .. its important for religious minded people like us to write positive blogs .. not adopt the same old sarcastic tone that can make the web a negative place. God bless you my friend.

  2. Robert says:

    And just checked out your credentials and it figures. Seems like me you are what Sean Hannity calls a “Jesus Freak” — no offense intended and so obviously you will find fault with a Buddhist version of a British tale. Makes total sense. See Jesus taught us to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So I don’t know why you would try and make fun of someone like Duke who is far more accomplished than you! And guess what? Every major theologian including Deepak Chopra has said that every aspect of Christianity was borrowed or “inspired” from previous religions especially Buddhism. Wikipedia and several other encyclopedias say Buddha walked on water and fed the 500 way before Christ so obviously you have an issue with Buddhism. Over 1 billion Indians believe Buddha was an incarnation of Lord Vishnu, 1 billion Chinese believe he is Divine and another 500 million worldwide — these numbers DWARF the nos of Jesus followers. And Time Magazine called Buddhism the fastest growing religion in the western world. So there you have it. You try and put another religion down it does not make yours right. And Buddha himself had to overcome sex and violence to become a Bodhisattva which is what the caption on the trailer says. So yes, there has to be some kissing scenes though they seem really hot to me and my girlfriend who along with her friends who are all here for dinner think Zen Duke is the hottest new movie star there is. Criss Angel influenced or not, he is making a major name coz we are reading about him everywhere. And honestly, the trailer rocks. And you should not put it down before even seeing the film. Glad to know you at least know about the Bodhi Dharma story though =) The martial arts come from India but there is nothing Bollywood about the trailer. I’m so shocked that a fellow Christian would be so ignorant to what seems like a really cool project. Anyway, I’m sure Zen with all his Buddhist beliefs will forgive you for you know not what you write. God or Buddha bless =)

    • hiscrivener says:

      WOW! All that dexterity over a trailer.

      And thanks for the compliment. I don’t know if you realize but calling me (or any real Christian) a “Jesus Freak” is nowhere near an insult. Saying you got the information from Sean Hannity on the other hand… oy! So, let’s see:

      1. No, I wouldn’t call M. Night “Bollywood” because his focus was never on a religion or Indian culture. I would just call him REALLY overrated post “Sixth Sense”.
      2. Where in the world do you get the impression I was slamming the trailer? I said enjoy it. The only slam was cracked on his bad eye for couture. So before you want to throw all your defense mechanisms on anyone who apparently isn’t a Buddhist Monk, you may want to read between the lines of seriousness and satire.
      3. Heck, 3/4 of the post was about Indian Kung Fu and didn’t talk about a guy that is apparently your hero.
      4. SOME martial arts hail from India. Please don’t reserve that for all martial arts, which is kinda sounds like you did… in case you didn’t mean to do that.

  3. Robert says:

    I LOVED the trailer and found it to be really sleek. I don’t see what your problem is with the film — honestly. There is no Indian Kung Fu — the moves are based on Daito Ryu and Chin Na with some Jiujitsu thrown in. There is an homage to Bodhi Dharma or Ta Mo who is the founder of Kung Fu. And yes, Buddha Shakyamuni is seen as Lord Buddha and in a way “worshippe” across Asia thought not as you would Christ. And there’s nothing Bollywood about it. Would you call M. Night Shyamalan Bollywood? Your blog reeks of ignorance from a true wannabe writer. Honestly.

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