Cincinnati woman got charge at church, but sold “battery-operated friends”

Posted: February 3, 2009 in Denominational Fun, Good for a Giggle, OMG!, On Your Wall, The Obvious Files
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Meet Patty Brisben of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Why? She has a unique story according to the Globe & Mail. Patty is a dedicated mother of four, involved in her church and even the community and even has a quirky nickname based on her job and work ethic – “Dildo Lady.”

Honey, is that an ichthus on your Bible or are you just happy to see me?

Honey, is that an ichthus on your Bible or are you just happy to see me?

Um, I’m sorry?!

Patty Brisben is a churchgoing mother of four who has made millions selling sex toys at private in-home gatherings not unlike Tupperware parties.

I have read a few newspapers, so – in case you have missed it – the economy isn’t doing that well.

But in lieu of the fledgling stock market, the aptly dubbed seller of leather, lace and lasciviousness will get a hand-up for her hand… outs.

On Super Bowl Sunday, Ms. Brisben will star in Mother Knows Sex, a TLC reality show about Pure Romance, her Cincinnati-based family business that now employs 30,000 consultants across the United States.

Capitalism at it’s finest.

And what’s even more amazing about this “church lady” is she gets the whole family involved. It turns out her son is the president of this multi-million dollar organization. Her husband? He “does all the defectives, in case something comes back broken.” Um… questions? Please?

  1. I think what is most important is just how involved can you be in a Bible-believing church when this is your profession? Oh sure, your tithe must be off the chain, but are you an effective witness when you are selling… those?!
  2. Is “dildo lady” on your business card… with the ichthus, no less?
  3. How does Dad figure out if an arousal cream or a battery-operated friend is defective? You know, never mind. I don’t want to know.
  4. How do you surmise the stones to ask your SON to head this empire?
  5. Now this is serious: Is what she doing completely wrong? Is it porn, or assisting married couples in the “marriage bed,” which is undefiled?

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Comments
  1. hiscrivener says:

    Raylene,

    Good afternoon and welcome to “The Writing on the Wall.”

    Initially, thank you for owning your commentary as opposed to listing “Anon” or some such. Kudos to you. Now then, a few bite-size morsels for thought:

    1. Agreed. A woman has every right to know and understand her body. When that quest for knowledge becomes obsessive is when said woman parlays herself into lust. Bodies come with directions too. We all need to read them.

    2. Man, there’s that tongue-in-cheek thing getting the best of me. Yes, I’m aware you sell lingerie, and no, there’s nothing wrong with that when a married woman buys a little teddy for her beau.

    3. The Bible is chock full of “things” to occupy time in the marriage bed. May I escort y’all to the Song of Solomon. And you are right, the rest of the verse speaks to shacking up and sleeping around. But a portion of that “undefilement” is the act of the unclean… such as, shall we say, “Party of One” when it’s not necessary. Additionally, martial love – and lovemaking – should be done with a concern for the other’s needs and in love (1 Corinthians 7:2-5 and Ephesians 5:21-33). Just putting it out there.

    4. I don’t care if her son dropped out of school in the 8th grade. I can rattle off an arsenal of top executives without an MBA, so save the resume. I get it. To me, it was the principle. It’s just difficult selling that vocation to my son. Namely, if you are known around town as “The Dildo Lady.”

    5. Believe me, sister. If My Fair Lady could sell horseshoes and stay home with my lil’ Wall Watchers, I would be all for it. So, bless God for that in your household. Cherish it. It sounds like you do.

    6. You are right about the definition of “pornography”, but you must also consider the etymology of the word, “pornea” that speaks to a state of mind, which could be brought on by lesser people mentally selling – or purchasing – such items as stocking stuffers. I’m glad I asked the question, because truth be told, I’m on your side… just thinking of others who can’t handle it, and don’t act like they aren’t out there.

    I like your style though and appreciate your moxie. Bless you.

    Peace,
    HiScrivener

  2. Pure Romance is the nations leading in-home direct sales company for women that seeks to entertain, educate and empower women with regards to their own sexual health by offering romance enhancement products and intimacy education. Whether or not a woman is married or not and sexually active has no basis for whether or not she should be educated on how her body works, why it works and what external factors will effect her arousal, her desire, her natural lubrication or her orgasm.

    At no point do we sell leather, lace or lavaciousness … unless lingerie is prohibited in the Christian bed. And as for your quote, pretty much all of your different bibles seem to be clear that the definition of “defile” is adultery … and if people are enjoying their marriage bed, they’re not adultering.

    Her son, Chris, the President of Pure Romance, has an MBA and after bring another company into the Fortune 500, went home to visit his mom and saw an opportunity to take her fledgling business to the level it is now. How you make that into something tawdry is beyond me.

    My father is a minister [non-denominational Born-Again Christian] and I’m a Pure Romance consultant [also a non-denominational Born-Again Christian] with his and my husbands blessing. To be able to make a difference in a woman’s life, in her marriage, in her intimate relationship with her partner [and who her partner is none of my concern, I’m not her minister] is priceless. To be able to stay home with my children and make dinner for my family every night while helping to pay for household expenses and keeping my intimate relationship with my husband healthy and fun is priceless.

    The very definition of pornography is obscene writings, drawings, photographs, or the like, esp. those having little or no artistic merit. Nothing in this definition even come close to touching what Pure Romance is about. So, in answer to question 5, no, she’s not doing anyting wrong.

    Those who tout bible passages would do well to heed “judge not.”

    Raylene Taskoski, Senior Director
    Pure Romance by Raylene • PR # 16238
    Presidents Club 2008 • Board of Directors 2009
    O: 860.367.8056 • C: 860.367.3920 • Web: PureRomancebyRaylene.com
    Book a Party • Become a Consultant • Request a Catalog • Place an Order

  3. Amy says:

    To your question five (5), I think we should focus on if she is promoting this service to marrieds alone – back to the sacred marriage bed for intercourse – or if she’s tapping up anyone who is interesting.

    My guess: she’s tapping up any wallet with or without a marriage license, as long as there is a dollar to spend!

  4. Vaughn says:

    Could this be considered ill gotten gain?

    Good questions, one of those things that make you say um!

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