Florida priests wonder if “embezzle” is a Latin word from God

Posted: January 30, 2009 in Above the Fold, OMG!, Religion Potpourri, WWJD
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

If you attend St. Vincent Ferrer Catholic Church in Delray Beach, Fla., I just have to know… does your church look like the Pier 1 Imports catalog or other interior designers utopia? Better yet – and more appropriate – TBN?

Oh, so the priests saw their crime on CSI. Nice.

Oh, so the priests saw their crime on CSI. Nice.

Well, while you have been enjoying the megalomania of revolving high back king’s chair, ornate 18′ vertical mirrors, medieval candelabras, and, oh, those dumb couches found in the waiting room of pretentious offices that you can’t even sit in… anywhoo, all that stuff was actually paid for $850,000 of your money.

Mazel Tov, and nice choice. Oh, you didn’t pick that out?

Yes, according to AP, your two dunderhead priests took the cash right out the offering plate for years. I suppose another aspect of this economy that needs attention is Social Security because Rev. Francis Guinan is 66 and his Monsignor, John Shekan is 81. So, where was all this hot cash? Right above your nose?

Two priests who authorities say for years stole cash from their Florida church’s offering plate and hid it in the church ceiling and offshore bank accounts to pay for lavish lifestyles will soon face a judge. Their trial is scheduled to start Wednesday in an embezzlement case authorities say could be one of the biggest to hit the U.S. Catholic Church.

And back in the WWJD files: these sacrosanct nitwits decide before prosecutors could charge them, they “left the country and their church amid an international scandal.” Stay classy, fellas.

Prosecutors say the priests plucked cash from the offering plate and spent it on upscale homes, gambling trips to Las Vegas with a mistress, even a $275,000 rare coin collection.

You steal money… to buy money?! If you ask me, they are too dumb to be mastermind criminals, much less men of the cloth. Enjoy your 30-to-life in jail. Who knows. Maybe you can take a Monet or a Rembrandt in that 6 x 9 cement block you will calling home?

Your parishoners can only hope.

  1. Sadly, Church Fraud is a very real concern, with potential risk from the outside as well as within. There are simple steps to increase the security of your churches finances but it is difficult to know where to start. I recently found out about a Christian Accounting firm that offers online tools and support for churches. They have some excellent resources as well as an online questionnaire that will determine whether your church is at risk. Their service is called Weeds in the Garden.

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