Vatican: Genocide? Bad. Eucharist Issues? Very bad. Makes sense.

Posted: January 27, 2009 in Denominational Fun, On Your Wall, Religion Potpourri, Spin Doctor
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obama-pope1What do lawyers and priests have in common? No, seriously. This isn’t a joke. What do they have in common? They both are equipped to take secrets to the grave. Lawyers get disbarred. Priests get excommunicated. Both never get it back.

Well, all those secrets told in the confessional booth have inspired pontiffs for centuries to actually rate sins.

Technically, they have categorized sins – mortal, or those causing spiritual death, and venial, those that can be forgiven but may cause a soul to detour into purgatory.Not good.

This organizational system has been cloaked in utmost secrecy through the “Apostolic Penitentiary” since 1179.

But, since the Roman Catholic Church has been in a PR scare given cleric tendencies to get handsy, Pope Benedict has decided to be like our president and have a more “transparent” administration.

However, it seems revealing this reticent list may do more harm than good.

While priests and bishops can deal with confessions of sins as grave as murder or even genocide, the tribunal is reserved for crimes which are viewed by the Church as even more serious.

More serious than say, the holocaust? Can you imagine what is worse than that?

Defiling the Eucharist, which Catholics believe is the body and blood of Christ, is also considered a sin of extreme gravity and one which is on the increase, the high-ranking members of the tribunal said.

OK, look. We can get into a charged debate over transubstantiation later. Are you telling me a wafer, blessed by a man – any cleric will do – has more value to God than say, six million Jews?! Seriously?!

For the record, Il Papa listed other heinous acts like assassinating the Pope or a priest abusing the confidentiality of the confessional. But this is inane theology. There’s another – a man who pays for an abortion, and then has the unmitigated gall to want to become a priest. That too, is worse than genocide.

MEMO to most Catholics: That strange sensation someone gets to live for God when they haven’t previously done so is called getting your life right for Jesus. You know, redemption and deliverance. But if you belong to the Catholic Church, this isn’t allowed?!

What Bible is that in? Some holy writ from Wal-Mart that was printed on a used copy machine, and um, every word the Apostle Paul wrote has smeared, and therefore didn’t make the trip to Montessori school? You know, theologians have words for religions that make up rules for dogma that completely contradict God… weird.

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