GOBAMA: The Evangelical Alliance wants him to read their Bible

In case you missed it, there is much ado about nothing over Chief Justice John Robert’s massive flub over delivering the oath to the BarackStar. Evidently, his tongue froze to the roof of his palette and we have this anti-Constitutional faux pas:

So, now the haters out there are leaping for joy and clamoring that he actually is not president. Not so fast. But, just to be sure and without the built-in nervous breakdown of sub zero wind chill and the eyes of many nations upon them, they took a do over. Only one issue with this one – there was no Bible! Can’t these dudes get anything right?!

They are actually practicing high fives

In swoops the Evangelical Alliance seeing the perfect opportunity to aid the new president, and of course, seizing the same opportunity to capture some lovely PR.

Dr. Krish Kandiah, director of Churches in Mission for the Evangelical Alliance, said he will send a copy of Bible Society’s Poverty and Justice Bible to Obama to make sure he always has a Bible at hand in the future. “President Obama’s commitment to the scripture was obvious during his inaugural address, when he quoted Paul’s letter to the Corinthians – so when we heard he didn’t swear on a Bible the second time, we could only assume it was because he couldn’t find one,” said Kandiah.

Yeah, because a president typically travels and you wouldn’t want theft to be on his conscience when he swipes one of those gifts left by the Gideons, huh? How magnimous of you.

But, history gomers on the Wall, did you know this is actually the seventh time in history an oath redux has been necessary… and the third without a Bible? Albeit none because the recitator forgot his lines on national TV! But I digress, and thanks to the Dallas Morning News for the talking points from FOX News (har har).

Hail to the Chief and some lifelong hell to the Chief Justice. God bless America.

Tom Hanks shows “Big Love” for the Mormon Church

Tom Hanks in a fit of rage, and waxing sentimental about the friends he made – and tragically lost – while making “Philadelphia”, decided to make a political statement… and a complete mockery of himself.

You remember what is now commonly known as Proposition 8, which made a law in California that made marriage only recognized between a man and a woman. Hrm. Go figure, given the interlude between Adam and Eve and all.

Americans… well, only the rich and pretentious ones, and, oh, those who live in the Hollywood Hills… blame the Mormons for Prop 8 being voted into law (again).

Granted, California isn’t full of the LDS saints; nevertheless, because of some money, the Mormons got blamed for it. Chiefly among them was the aforementioned Tom Hanks who called the entire Mormon nation, “Un-American.”

Never mind the fact being American is the very reason they were able to exercise their rights to fiscally bolster Prop 8, but apparently, Hanks think the denizens of Utah were actually illegally transported from Indonesia, Cuba or escaped from Madagascar in a plane of penguins.

Blame the economy, his conscience or the fact that some folk may not go see his great movies (except for “The Money Pit”, Oy!) after that cockamamie comment, Tom Hanks went biblical and performed a mea culpa, according to FOX News.

…”Everyone has a right to vote their conscience; nothing could be more American,” the statement continues. “To say members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints who contributed to Proposition 8 are ‘un-American’ creates more division when the time calls for respectful disagreement. No one should use ‘un- American’ lightly or in haste. I did. I should not have.”

Considering this is a guy for “Band of Brothers” and “Saving Private Ryan”, you would think he had a slight grasp on the Bill of Rights. But hey, we all reserve the right for a moment of vociferous angst… and an even larger right of delicious irony and unfortunate hypocrisy.

It turns out Hanks is an executive producer of the spoof drama about the Mormons – and their panache for multiple wives – called “Big Love.” Oh, and he spewed his vitriol at the HBO premiere of said production. That sound you heard was Joseph Smith and Brigham Young rolling over in the grave, doubled over in laughter.

Nice to know even though it’s been a while since the pop culture rich “Bosom Buddies,” Tom can still make folks laugh.