Archive for January 17, 2009

Thanks to a little masonry from “Another Brick in the Wall” A Little Leaven, we find arguably one of the most iconoclastic and execrable “sermons” I have heard in quite some time. “Okee Doke”? (Work with me, you’ll see).

What’s so distressing about this Hooked on Biblio-phonics message is some folk are buying this… this… I don’t know, poppycock? Renditions of childhood memories at the zoo? Impressions of a whoopie cushion speaking Pig Latin? Reflections of a drunken stupor and speaking to the only god he can remember – a shiny white one named American Standard?

Listen, I understand – and believe – in a baptism of the Holy Spirit. But this tomfoolery is some tool out of Satan’s carpentry belt abusing any sanctity there is to sound a stunt double from Wall-E!

The only thing of which I am certain is this is why the rapture is necessary, why atheism exists in this country and most importantly, why Christians must unite under the fundamental tenets of the Bible and put a quick end to fools like this. No wonder there are stereotypes out there.

Oh, and please don’t adjust your monitor. That is really a dead muskrat resting on his chin. Yoy, yoy, yoy!

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I sound like my dear ol’ dad more and more every day. “The world is going to hell in a handbasket,” he would always exclaim as he saw the latest breaking news story, and typically caused an introspective child to think, “Isn’t the world a bit big for one of Mom’s old apple baskets in the garage?”

But I digress, because that is exactly what I thought when I read about the fake-named Natalie Dylan and her quest to pay for college… by selling her virginity to the highest bidder online!

The FBI isn’t interested. The U.S. attorney doesn’t care. Everything is fine by local police, and she isn’t breaking any laws. That’s because Natalie Dylan, a made-up name for a real 22-year-old California college grad, is marketing her maidenhead in Nevada, where prostitution is legal.

Begs the question, "Where was her father?"

Begs the question, "Where was her father?"

Amazing how a girl can be a ho, and still be a complete novice at the same time?

You know, she is either a completely depraved individual who seriously needs to find some Christian zealot that will lead her straight to Jesus, or she is a borderline genius business woman. Why?

She has the moxie to do this dastardly deed… and do it in Nevada where “tricks” have nothing to do with a deck of cards… and it’s highly possible she won’t go through this at all. After all the notoriety she is getting, some schlep in a publisher’s office could get her a book deal, she gets the cash with virginity intact and still gets paid.

So why? At least she’s altruistic – twisted and a harlot – but altruistic because young Natalie wants to continue her college education. You know, the economy and all, but that doesn’t stop the dirty, rank old men trolling for hotties on eBay, does it? 401Ks are being depleted in record fashion.

And her inspiration for this legal rouse? Her sister, so says the UK’s Telegraph (quickly becoming a must-read paper for HiScrivener):

Miss Dylan, from San Diego, California, USA, said she was persuaded to offer herself to the highest bidder after her sister Avia, 23, paid for her own degree after working as a prostitute for three weeks. She said she had had a lot of attention from a wide range of men, including “weirdos”, “those who get really graphically sexual about what they want to do to me” and “lots of polite requests from rich businessmen”.

“Polite requests for rich businessmen”?! Seriously? Of course, they are polite! The Viagra wears off in 45 minutes, and the online bid counter has 25 minutes in the hopper. This is pathetic, so sad and yet another reason why My Fair Lady and I are looking into chastity belts circa 1200 A.D. for a certain lil’ Wall Watcher.

Lord, hear our prayer.