Archive for January 12, 2009

Tim Tebow, in case you haven’t heard the name, is a simple guy, a godly guy and at times, arguably one of the most accomplished college athletes of all time.

He’s a Florida Gator who just beat the Oklahoma Sooners, 24-14, for the BCS Championship, and is better known as “Superman.” But the way people talk about him – and how the Church embraces him – you would think he is the closest thing to Jesus Christ. Well, outside of that Barack Obama guy.

tim-tebow-john316Why? Well, he was on one of the biggest sport stages (again), and instead of using his camera time to whine and wail like most athletes – he witnesses.

As he has done throughout the season, Tebow used his black under-eye markings Thursday night to share Scripture, this time donning the most popular Bible verse in America. “Tebow’s religious expression has been a big part of the wholesome image we see described in every single feature written about him,” wrote sports columnist Tom Herrera in the NCAA Football Fanhouse.

Not like he needed the extra hubbub, but he knew his love for the Lord superseded all else.  What’s the big deal?

  • He is the first Sophomore to win the Heisman
  • He is the first QB to run and pass for 20 touchdowns in a season
  • He has two collegiate football championships
  • He still has a year left of college eligibility, which is causing an entire state to hold its baited breath
  • And, if that’s not enough, he’s the son of missionaries
  • And, in his free time, he longs to save the lives of children in his homeland in the Philippines

Some complain about how vociferous he is about his faith. Others find leadership in it. What’s ironic is the same folk that gripe about his faith wish people in sports were better role models and not spend so much time “keeping it real”.

Yet, he just silently paints his eyes, lives his faith and wins games. Hrm. Maybe he really is a Super Man?

Jumping on couches. Arguing about Zoloft. Making his betrothed vanish like a fart in the wind. Laughing because Katie Holmes face is on milk cartons. All this is a day in the life for Scientology’s Superman, Tom Cruise.

Brought to you by the Church of Scientology

Brought to you by the Church of Scientology

And now we have this bizarre claim seen on WOW News Times Online in the UK:

He [Tom Cruise] told a Spanish magazine that the teachings of Ron L Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, helped him overcome reading difficulties deriving from dyslexia.

Ain’t that sweet. But the issue is seeing how this cultish tomfoolery is based on humanism, there is absolutely no room for divine intervention… so where was the healing? Did Ronnie boy invent Hooked on Scientology Phonics? What? He sat down with you on his lap and taught you to read See Pug Run?

When I graduated from high school in 1980 I was functionally illiterate,” he said. “Nobody gave me a solution and I wanted to know why the system had failed. Finally, as an adult I learned to read perfectly through the method of (Scientology’s late founder) L. Ron Hubbard,” Cruise confesses.

This may be a little deep, but how fun would it be to give a young “Risky Business” Tom Cruise, battling with a little reading disorder and some twit hands him a page full of palindromes. You know, hand him a fictional script reading something like this in italics:

It’s 8:02 p.m., February 20, 2002 (20:02, 02/20 2002), and I see Bob on radar driving a Honda Civic. He brakes shouting, “Was it a rat I saw?” WHEW! “I shall step on no pets,” he thinks while singing Yoko Ono and whistling about a redivider. You see, he was stressed about desserts. Then someone shouted, “Yo! Banana Boy!” Bob turned, apologized and shouted an S.O.S., “Was it a car or a cat I saw?” Who cares. “Red rum sir is murder.”

Man! I read perfectly and that confused the heck out of me. Good times, Hubbard. Decipher that – words and phrases. Enjoy.

DATELINE: Nashville, Tenn. where we meet David Sanborn (and no relation to the jazz dude).

No, this Sanborn is an actor known for his peculiar likeness to a certain Messiah who has a panache for the miraculous. So, it’s only fitting that he attempts to create a miracle of his own – but with his hair?!

The profile alone makes me wanna shout "Amen!"

The profile alone makes me wanna shout "Amen!"

For the past two years, Sanborn has made a career in Tennessee portraying Jesus Christ and is now leaving for the big time (i.e. Broadway) to take on the role of King David. But before he does, he has one last sacrificial gift:

But before he leaves, the performer decided to cut off most of his hair to give to Locks of Love – the organization uses donated hair to create wigs for cancer patients who have lost their hair.I was actually doing a benefit about a year ago where I was singing for cancer victims and a few people there had their hair cut at the concert on the premises for Locks of Love and it just blew me away,” Sanborn said.

This is a HiScrivener personal issue given my mother is a 15-year survivor of breast cancer. Actually, she saw that thing head-on and kicked its tail. If I had a flowing mane to shave, I would do it as well, but since I don’t I can only applaud those backseat Saviors who do.

Enjoy being King David in the American empire, Sanborn. FYI, if some ditzy chic with a smoking body named Bathsheba starts calling you a lot and visiting your dressing room, remember Nancy Reagan and “Just say no!”