Ah, the warmth of the holidays.
Hot cocoa by an open-lit fire. Presents under the tree. Nat King Cole crooning “The Christmas Song”. And a condom handed to you by Santa Claus himself. Yep, it truly is the most wonderful time of the year…er…you say one of those things don’t belong?!
Makes sense to most Canadians who live in Toronto, as Santa was personally invested in who was naughty or nice as the Durex condom company paid perverted St. Nicks to hand out provolactics to passers-by. Stay Classy, Father Rated X-mas.
A press release from the company explained that costumed representatives, dressed as Santa Claus, would be handing out the condoms beginning on Tuesday, December 16. “This holiday season, Durex(R) wants lovers to really feel the Love,” says the release. “Helping Canadians get in the mood to wrap their packages, Durex and Santa will start celebrating the holidays by handing out Love condoms this Tuesday, December 16, 2008 in downtown Toronto. Giving never felt so good!”
Eartha Kitt would be puuuurfectly ashamed, as this gives a completely new and debauched meaning to “Santa Baby.”
It’s bad enough these tools at Durex think this is a kitschy enough idea to do during Christmas, paying no attention to the whole Jesus over tones, but does anyone at that worthless company understand who Saint Nicholas was in the first place?
Despite the ironic fact he looks an awful lot like Charles Darwin, he is a patron saint… as in revered Catholicism… and they may as well be doing this on the campus of Notre Dame for a bigger offense to that group of God-fearing folk. I guess the twisted street team could hae dressed up as priests, but they may have looked too conspicuous, eh?
So, Roman Catholics and all Greek and Eastern Orthodox believers alike, here is my present to you: Durex’s contact information.Forget the raincoat, USE THAT LINK to make a difference! Speech may be free, but I sincerely hope it costs Durex a lot. Hey, we all spend money this time of year. Let’s pray they spend more than most.