fountain-of-youth-in-churchIt seems people aren’t scared of Jesus any longer. And because of that, pastors are dreaming of different ways to get folk in the house of Gawd.

Let’s see… not going to heaven doesn’t seem to get people walking into church these days, so what about this novel marketing tactic: “Go to church every week. Live until you’re 130! No… really.”

Going to church every week can help you live longer, say scientists. In fact, attend two services a week and you can cut your chances of dying by 20 per cent.

Quick! Someone bring back tent revivals, Rodney Howard Browne six-week extended church services, Billy Sunday and Jonathon Edwards preaching for hours on end on street corners. Something? Anything?

Who needs fantasy movies like “Highlander” and whatever dimwitted vampire movie is Feng Shui now? You got church!

What does it say about a religion that extols a God who invites his followers to come into his assemblage, worship at his feet and gets to live much, much longer with him.

Hrm… wait a second… that’s sounds like something I read once. Maybe this is a church marketing scheme that doesn’t suck after all. Ah well, all I know is that I will make it a point to sit on the front row now. Just in case a chorus of “Who Wants to Live Forever” breaks out.

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