GOBAMA: “If it bleeds, it leads” is really about Stigmata

Posted: November 30, 2008 in Denominational Fun, Follow up, IJS, Networking, Politics, The Obvious Files
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For the past few months, the Writing on the Wall was illuminated with an LED on the Republican Party basically showing if John McCain didn’t bother to entertain the Church like his competition, he would be bothered to keep his tail in Arizona.

Thanks to the Pew Forum, we find that was the case as more than 53 percent of the headlines were aboutany-candidate-will-do Barack Obama’s faith – some about him being a Muslim, others about him being the Antichrist, but all of it about Christians discussing him… and not John McCain.

The “culture war” issues that have been prominent in past elections, such as abortion and gay marriage, received minimal attention in 2008. The coverage they did receive tended to come in the form of reaction to statements by the candidates and quickly receded without generating any sustained narrative.

Why? Because we – in a word – are meddlesome. And instead of people wanting to discuss the wiles of most on each coast legalizing gay marriage or the intricacies of late-term abortion, we choose to hear the gossip surrounding Nostradamus possibly foretelling Obama as the son of Lucifer or, even worse, the second coming!

Now, that’s politics. And that’s also why the Church was so focused on the BarackStar and not McCain. How could the old man hold a candle to that kind of pub?!

more-story-lines-from-the-electionWhat made the news cycle spin wasn’t the winds of change. It was the old fashioned rumor mill. Check this graph out:

Issues were scarcely what entertained the Church. It was the misguided, haphazard passer-by traffic of the BarackStar’s middle name.

Way to go, Christians! And then to prove how inquiring minds just had to know… you made Sarah Palin’s baby mama issues a strong #2.

You know, the GOP will have a LOT of time to sit back, recollect and reconsider the many ways it lost this election. Among them are:

  • Cease & desist with noted evangelical endorsements. If they aren’t calling for the death of all Muslims, they were calling all Catholics whores. Neither are that endearing to swing voters, I don’t think.
  • Get younger at that position. Be an old man with a fat wallet in a mid-life crisis. The next time you want to trot out an septuagenarian for cross-country campaigning, make that person has already been president.
  • Don’t underestimate experience. Yeah, yeah. Obama didn’t have “experience”, but at least he can handle his own on friggin’ Katie Couric! The one thing he did have experience at was public speaking. You don’t have to be the next “Great Communicator” to sway indie voters, just able to speak in coherent sentences.
  • Don’t overestimate one side of a two-sided ticket. No, we don’t vote for the Veeps. But yeah, we kinda do. Biden was a good choice, because he was everything in foreign relations the BarackStar wasn’t. [Then, of course, he hires HER as Secretary of State. Did I miss something?!] Palin? Well, she was an executive… hot… loves the snow… hot… family woman… hot… evangelical… and um, oh yeah, HOT. In short, she was a few fries short of a happy meal, and in this economy, it’s about the whole value meal! And folk get angry about their food. graphs-middle-finger1
  • Do your homework. McCain wasn’t the country’s first choice. Heck, he wasn’t even the GOP’s first choice. But of course, he wins the nod through politicking and a whole lot of money… and loses his shirt. You see, straight-ticket GOP die-hards, if you don’t wake up and smell what the Barack is cooking, there will be another graph developing (seen pictured here) and that will be reflective of what the country thinks about your and the elephant you rode in on. I’m just sayin’.

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