If you have nothing to do today while waiting for the clock to hit 3 – or whenever (and ifever) you get to bolt early today for the Thanksgiving holidays – then I have someting for your viewing pleasure.

Three letters: TBN. Otherwise known as a lot of things, but I have always been fond of “The Good Ol’ Boys Network.”

OK, full objective disclosure: What this network has done for countless of millions around the world is nothing short of remarkable. Many people can’t go to a church. Others won’t. But they all have a remote, and many of those have been saved, healed and delivered because of some various and sundry show captured on the air. Despite the news and appearance, Jesus is being blessed through these airwaves.

That said (yeah, yeah, you knew a detour was coming), it’s incontrovertible proof that God can be used and honored despite the inconceivable actions of his children. There are some jackleg fools on this network, and most of them could give a vile of holy water less about you. The real vociferous ones are usually caught shelling for “Praise-A-Thon,” the network’s cavalcade of pimpser, stars who sop up so much twisted theology that they need a Shamwow to take care of the damage!

Case in point, the title message of this post thanks to some masonry from “Slaughtering the Sheep“:

Rod Parsley. Where was “Jerry Maguire” when you started this message of numerology, eschatology and etymology. Lawd have mercy! Next, thanks to some masonry from another “Another Brick in the Wall” I’m Speaking Truth:

Benny Hinn. Diggin’ the Nehru brother, and that embroidery, suh-wheat! If I want to hear a message on blessings, I may have to consult another, but hey, if I want to hear the sacrosanct version of “Old McDonald had a Blinged Out Farm,” I know who to ask. Ee-I-Ee-I-HO!

Jamal Harrison-Bryant. “Broke with expensive tastes”?! I don’t call that positioned for biblical greatness. I call that megalomaniacal and not that responsible in this economy. But hey, thanks to you Big Pimpin’, folk going to go to bed with some Advil PM and wake up quitting their job. Nice, as long they keep your Web site address, right?

And lastly, thanks to another fave and brick, “Independent Conservative“:

Clarence E. McClendon. A man who divorced his wife via facsimile, staved racism and left his church so he could get his groove back with his assistant in the Bahamas or some such. (True story). And now, The Good Ol’ Boys see it fit that you should be the clarion pimp extraordinaire in this piece. Don’t believe me? See his perm? ‘Nuff said.

Wall Watchers, a question: At what cost to the Body of Christ are these fools permitted allowances to propagate their vitriol and aspersions because they have the cash and the cameras? It’s shameful. Heck, I know many pastors – MANY – without a camera who could run circles ’round some of these guys, and have the sterling reputation to boot.

My prayer is that despite them, the lost can still be found and turned away like a bunch of stray cats. At what cost? Maybe we should ask Paul Crouch after the “Preys-a-Thon” (as another brick in the Wall, MaxDaddy calls it) to determine what cost it takes.

  1. […] who have used it to their advantage and not for the benefit of their sheep (i.e. Kenneth Copeland, Rod Parsley, Benny Hinn and now entering the fold, Ed […]

  2. hiscrivener says:

    OK Kyle… let’s watch it.

    You got me laughing so hard with the look alike comparison, I almost woke up my lil’ Wall Watchers. Nice.

  3. KyleNYC says:

    You know…if the Hebrew or Greek or Pig Latin had spelled it “BEN-JA-MIN” would Mr. Parsley (who looks A LOT like Scott Thompson from “The Kids in the Hall”) be saying “It’s all about the Bin-Ya-Meens”?

  4. KyleNYC says:

    Am I on crack or did he just go there?

    And the crack part is asked rhetorically…

  5. […] ain’ Easy 27 11 2008 HiScrivener has a post on health-and-wealth crazies. Though the topic is very sad and makes me angry, I enjoyed his use of sarcasm and wit in the […]

  6. hiscrivener says:

    Oh yeah, Mr. Pugnacious. With snappy witticisms and snarky commentary like that, you will do just fine on the Wall. We are about truth here, but no reason we can’t get jiggy with it in the process.

  7. Rich Bordner says:

    PS–I love the phrase “jackleg fools.” Nice.

    PPS–Yes, I’ve often gotten angry too, especially when I see them taking advantage of those who really don’t know any better.

    Paging John Piper…paging John Piper.

  8. Rich Bordner says:

    Lol…yah. Rod-Roddy is from Columbus, OH, where I lived for 6 years. I watched his show a time or two and was very confused.

    Kinda funny story: one summer I was in Bolivia doing some missions work. I turned on the channel. It was Rod. The camera focused in on the crowd during his sermon, and the ONE guy it settled on was a friend of mine! No joke; here I am in friggin’ Bolivia, and I’m looking at Phil, the knock-kneed computer geek I knew from back in Columbus. Out of all the channels I could have clicked on, and out of all the folks the camera could have focused on…What are the chances?

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