Archive for November 19, 2008

happy-atheist-masA rotund belly. Rosy red cheeks. A bellowing “ho ho ho”. And now, a wrinkled and thick middle finger to all the haters out there.

It’s bad enough people want to take the CHRIST out of Christmas with protests at shopping centers, but now those heinous heathens are using holiday jingles to do it, as seen by this story in the Houston Chronicle.

Ads proclaiming, “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake,” will appear on Washington, D.C., buses starting next week and running through December. The American Humanist Association unveiled the provocative $40,000 holiday ad campaign Tuesday.

Seriously? In lieu of the economy and despite Yuletide joy, these dimwits get together, sharing their swill and come up with this as an effective ad campaign. Who would get amped up over this bit of advertising genius? I mean this has the sex appeal of a school bus fire. Come on!

Does anyone understand how real Jesus MUST be?!

There are no advertising campaigns to bash the fat belly out of Buddha. No marketing outreaches to reinforce Christ really isn’t part of the season to the Atheist Colony. No grassroots efforts that sheds light upon the reason for cooking ham to the Muslims. So why attack Jesus? He is real. No other explanations, well, unless you believe this tool:

“We are trying to reach our audience, and sometimes in order to reach an audience, everybody has to hear you,” said Fred Edwords, spokesman for the humanist group. “Our reason for doing it during the holidays is there are an awful lot of agnostics, atheists and other types of non-theists who feel a little alone during the holidays because of its association with traditional religion.”

So, wasting your money is to save the self-esteem of a few turds out there vocal about a losing battle?! You know, the holidays are lot like a bad TV show. If you don’t like it, ignore it. Don’t decorate your house. Don’t go to the mall. Don’t watch the Burl Ives classics. Don’t move your calendar until the following year. For the rest of us, we will be enjoying CHRISTmas, singing “Away in a Manger” and invading Starbucks like a holy crusade.

Ah, Joy to the World!

You have heard the empty claims. We have all seen the puns, pings and purported testimony on his rather unfortunate middle name. And who could forget his pastor, Rev. Wright?

obama-muslim-church-signBut one Pastor Mark Holick of Wichita, Kansas believes all those who voted for the BarackStar sinned big time and should repent… or else.

“The main point of the marquee is to cause Christians to understand he’s not a Christian,” said Pastor Mark Holick of Spirit One. “They call and tell me he’s not a Muslim he’s a Christian. That’s not the point. The point is he’s not a Christian.

My point is how in the H-E-double hockey sticks does Pastor Holick know that?!

I realize anyone can quote scripture on a good day, much like Barack Obama did throughout his campaign, but did this super sleuth pastor get some tape of the president-elect selling bean pies on the corner of the downtown square? Did he trip over him and his security detail in the mall because they were prostrate on their prayer rugs?

Seriously, folks. THIS is what is wrong with the Church today.

One fool’s opinion becomes FACT the moment he proselytizes this bigotry from the pulpit. And from there, rumors get started based on ignorace and prejudice. He doesn’t know… nor would know a Muslim if he was handed a pamphlet about the “Five Pillars” during Ramadan. Yet, he has information that has alluded the FBI and is breaking the news from Wichita, Kansas.

Nice. Hey, uh Pastor, instead of asking your church to wish our president straight to hell, you may want to entertain a few prayers for the guy. God knows with the cracked crew of Biden, Pelosi and Reid, he could use all the help he can get. But hey, what do I know, I’m not a pastor of a church. Good on ya’, Rev.

The poor church in the midst of theft.

The poor church in the midst of theft. Well, maybe not.

Outside of Moscow, Russia comes yet another strident reason – and this seriously strange story – why the Church needs to employ security guards.

I know it may not look that appealing with people trying to enjoy service while these 6’4″ blockheads guard the altar from terrorist attack, but evidently a staff of armed disciples may prevent theft from the offering plates, the pastor from getting bum rushed and uh, the church being stolen BRICK BY BRICK! Huh?!

The Church of Christ’s Resurrection, in the central Russian village of Komarovo, was built in 1809 but in early October someone took it away brick by brick, Father Vitaly a spokesman for the local Russian Orthodox Church, told Reuters… The church was in an isolated area only occasionally visited by clergymen, so the disappearance was not immediately noticed.

So, that’s how religion is rolling back in the U.S.S.R – sermon by absentee ballot and by-proxy belief?!

Missing a Sunday night service in lieu of football every once in a while, I can understand. Not being at church in so long that some fool with waaay too much time on his hands can steal your antiquitous sanctuary brick-by-brick, that makes me think the pastor may need to find a new line of work.

Scratch that, he probably did, is working the night shift and that’s how it happened! My only hope is Father Vitaly’s congregation figured out the church repossession before this article came out. Talk about a come to Jesus meeting.