Church of the Holy Sepulcher: Monks Gone Wild!

Posted: November 18, 2008 in Above the Fold, Denominational Fun, Networking, On Your Wall, WWJD
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More unfortunate news from one of the most sacrosanct sites on the planet, as noted by Yahoo and AP.

Evidently, who needs those pesky, ferocious lions? Just let the Christians beat the holy @$#& out of each other [been waiting for the right time for that pun]. Now that’s entertainment, as it was at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Good times!

So, while you are enjoying the hubbub and ballyhoo, understand the people fighting ARE MONKS! Not prized fighters of puglism. They aren’t even drunk halfwits arguing about O.J. or Rodney King. These are men who have consecrated their lives to poverty, sacrifice and servantitude for Jesus! So why are they fighting?

The clash between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks broke out in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, revered as the site of Jesus’ crucifixion, burial and resurrection. The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus.

Isn’t that like two dolts bashing the bejeebers out of each other for a notable home run ball in the cheap seats. With one crack of the wood, it’s carnage! And now, we see the predecessor… the wood of the Cross causing all this havoc. I’m sure this isn’t what Jesus meant as “brotherly love.”

Monks, I implore you, can’t we all get along? In case you haven’t read your theological books lately, Jesus Christ is off that cross and is risen. You know, hanging out in heaven, sitting by the Father’s right hand and waiting to return for his Church on some bold steed.

Seeing how this donnybrook broke out during “The Feast of the Cross,” stay tuned for what’s to come during Thanksgiving when one monk says to the other, “Pass the wooden plate of candied yams.”

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