Archive for November 18, 2008

kool-aid-man

Just needs some huge shades and mutton chops

November 18, 1978.

That, too, is a date that will live in infamy when 909 people died of cyanide poisoning in the largest mass suicide in recorded history. And for what? A plague that still infects the Church to this very day 30 years later.

Vanity.

It’s a riddle of the universe yet to be mastered, always asked to no one who can answer. King Solomon gave it a shot once, and got really close. Problem with that is his answer is buried in the Old Testament and no one seems to remember it. Here goes:

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter [his quest for all things riches, power and vain]: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Ecclesiastes 12:13).

That was the problem in Guyana, and it’s the problem now with all these pulpit pimps, Web charlatans and false ‘profits’. There’s no fear, only vanity. The very rub Solomon found back in his day has scrubbed the hair off the backs of fools like Jim Jones, et al.

And for his narcissism – Jimmy’s not Solomon’s – we have an all-too-familiar catch phrase about a sugary drink of yummyness. If a church staff stops acting like THE Church, they are what? “Drinking the Kool-aid.” If a pastor ceases to act saved and just plays it safe. He is “drinking the Kool-aid.” If dumb sheeper, followers of a fraud carry out an initiative that is both tomfoolery and shameful, they are “drinking the Kool-aid.”

Well, now that half the body of Christ has diabetes, MSNBC has done a fabulous documentary on the Kool-aid man and we will all remember where the search for vanity began and how dreadfully it ended. Today, although there are no deaths, the ending some naive Christians discover is no more dreary.

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more about “30 years! And still we drink the Kool…“, posted with vodpod
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More unfortunate news from one of the most sacrosanct sites on the planet, as noted by Yahoo and AP.

Evidently, who needs those pesky, ferocious lions? Just let the Christians beat the holy @$#& out of each other [been waiting for the right time for that pun]. Now that’s entertainment, as it was at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Good times!

So, while you are enjoying the hubbub and ballyhoo, understand the people fighting ARE MONKS! Not prized fighters of puglism. They aren’t even drunk halfwits arguing about O.J. or Rodney King. These are men who have consecrated their lives to poverty, sacrifice and servantitude for Jesus! So why are they fighting?

The clash between Armenian and Greek Orthodox monks broke out in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, revered as the site of Jesus’ crucifixion, burial and resurrection. The brawling began during a procession of Armenian clergymen commemorating the 4th-century discovery of the cross believed to have been used to crucify Jesus.

Isn’t that like two dolts bashing the bejeebers out of each other for a notable home run ball in the cheap seats. With one crack of the wood, it’s carnage! And now, we see the predecessor… the wood of the Cross causing all this havoc. I’m sure this isn’t what Jesus meant as “brotherly love.”

Monks, I implore you, can’t we all get along? In case you haven’t read your theological books lately, Jesus Christ is off that cross and is risen. You know, hanging out in heaven, sitting by the Father’s right hand and waiting to return for his Church on some bold steed.

Seeing how this donnybrook broke out during “The Feast of the Cross,” stay tuned for what’s to come during Thanksgiving when one monk says to the other, “Pass the wooden plate of candied yams.”

Enough of this crap already!

Why is it when you become famous, live in Hollywood and have an electronic stick in your face all the time, you have the right to threaten TO MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY IF THE DUDE YOU DIDN’T VOTE FOR BECOMES THE PRESIDENT!

What’s funny is all these empty claims seem to coming from the same friggin’ family. Meet the Baldwins!

You know the anti-Brady Bunch. It all started with Alec who vehemently threatened to move to Canada if W. became president. Eight years later, he is still here collecting all those American dollars. Funny how that changes the mind making this blusterer nothing more than a swelled-head, gravel-voiced goober.

And so, with the advent of “Barackanophobia” setting in for uber-conservatives everywhere, Stephen Baldwin decides to take a page out of the family handbook. (And thanks to some masonry from Another Brick in the Wall, Beliefnet, for finding it).

Four years of John McCain with four more years of George W. Bush was “the most stupidest thing” you ever heard. And when pressed, you crossed your fingers and promised that if Obama wins, you were leaving the country.

OK, who is with me? Let’s all chip in, buy a Mayflower moving van, pack up all their empty promises, vain attempts to stay relevant and say “Fare thee well.”  You don’t like this place, I hear Amsterdam’s red light district is looking for a few good men. Oh, the commentary is pretty funny too.