ron-burgundy-talks-haggardWell, it’s been a long time coming and Wall Watchers have waited for a triumphant return. Now, thanks largely to this story from ABC News, we have it.

Everyone, rejoice… here’s the Ron Burgundy picture covering fallen evangelical and pastor Ted Haggard.

Well, the picture and the fact Ted Haggard has broken his silence about his plight into “personal male massage therapists” and meth. Whichever one excites you more: Huzzah!

Now seriously, I encourage you to visit the ABC News link and watch the video. Riveting.

First, Haggard’s dad had a successful business and evidently one of pop’s cohorts thought a business fringe benefit was molesting his son at the age of seven. Horrifying.

Personally, I am glad he didn’t share that tidbit while he was bringing his entire family into the spotlight because it would have seemed like an excuse. Now, it’s just unfortunate insight.

If you study psychology, you know the propensity for an abuse victim to become an abuser is very high. However, as “Another Brick on the Wall” Ima Blogger points out, it still doesn’t explain his habitue for trailer park drugs. I suppose that was just collateral damage.

Anywhoo… so here’s Ted Haggard, a mere shell of the evangelical giant he used to be, ministering in a small Illinois church about what happened, why it happened and how we (the Church) should have responded:

“I believe that he [God] gives us opportunities every couple of years to communicate the gospel worldwide through secular media and we consistently blow it,” he said. “A congressman in trouble, that’s the time. A family member gets himself in horrible trouble, that’s the time. A preacher gets himself in awful trouble, that’s the time.

Once a preacher, always a preacher. Because despite the message and circumstance, there’s always some truth. In other words, he is right. The Church is inventive, novel and genius at finding new and innovative ways to eat its young, step on the fallen and bury its elderly.

Don’t get me wrong, what Teddy boy did was heinous and he deserved a swift boot out of the pulpit and the NEA. But he got there because there is no accountability in – or out of – the pulpit. Count the yes men that surround the Osteens, the Crouchs or even the sex-loving Youngs and you will see what I mean.

Ted was the man! President of one of the most influential Christian organizations on the planet, pastor of a megachurch, family man and guy with a GREAT grill. Who was going to tell him, “NO!” And that’s how these demagogues like it. No accountability, no refrain, no one to whom they should answer.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18 NIV)

times-running-outLook at the mighty, Wall Watchers: Oral and Richard Roberts. Robert Tilton. Jim Bakker. Pat Robertson. And so, so many more. And time is running out for us to make a difference on a world that already thinks to little of us… and these fools ain’t helping matters much.

These were giants of the Kingdom at one time or another and they all share one thing in common – each had an empire, answered “only to God”, kept their sin buried in the closet and fell flat. They have all made a comeback, and Ted will make his as well. What’s sad is that there are 1000s more like them corraling the sheep and using them to do nothing more than make cashmere sweaters to hang in their closets.

So don’t be surprised when Haggard gets pelted with blue pills, barraged with hate mail and asked if he wants to massage with Crisco. People – saved and lost alike – all have shark mentality in one faction or another. When the smell of blood is in the water, prepare to drown or swim like hell.

Ted Haggard, you now have your floaties. Swim on, soldier. Some of us are praying for you, and giggling a little bit as well.

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