Archive for October 22, 2008

Good afternoon, Wall Watchers. Now is time for “What’s My Line?”

It seems the most anathematic and atheistic organization on earth – the dreaded ACLU – has a new sheriff in town, and her name is Susan Herman. Her first public statement wasn’t about another Ten Commandments tablet needing removal from a remote courtroom, it was something you would never gander… ever… to come from the ACLU.

[According to the Christian Post], the newly elected president of the American Civil Liberties Union says the organization plans to reach out to communities where it is not well-known or not well-understood.

Sorry? The ACLU? Not well understood? Isn’t that like saying Pope Benedict may be swinging a little to the left? Billy Graham really isn’t that effective at public speaking? Or perhaps thinking the Apostle Peter should have skipped his calling and wrote a series of anger management books.

Not well understood, my blessed @$$urance! Puh-lease.

Sure, your name states America and Civil Liberties, but it’s really an affront to rid this country of anything Christian like prayer, sacrosanct symbolism and that Jesus fella. So, Herman continues with her drivel:

Since its establishment in 1920, the ACLU has set out to preserve First Amendment rights, the right to equal protection under the law, the right to due process, and the right to privacy. Its stated mission is “to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the Constitution and laws of the United States.”

That is, unless of course, you believe Jesus Christ is the only begotten son of God who died and resurrected for the forgiveness of our sins. If that’s you, the ACLU did not set to preserve diddly-poo for you.

So, uh, good luck with all that “misimpression” offal and ballyhoo. Because I think the only misimpression you will get at the end of this media campaign is the monstrous retainer some uber-fortunate PR firm will get trying to get the public to buy that line.

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Initially, what’s up with former Republican presidential candidate Gov. Mick Huckabee?! Dude left the campaign trail, signed on as a political hack for FOX News and now has parlayed that into a full-time gig with his own show.

Yes, Mike “Baptist pastor gone Arkansas governor funny guy” Huckabee!

And he scored a coup that no one else in America did – an exclusive interview with the ubiquitious and awfully-maligned “Joe the Plumber”. All nine minutes are below, and it’s worth the listen while gnawing on a sandwich during a lunch break:

MY TURN: This is a man who bowed up and asked Sen. Obama a question regarding an economic plan that has small business owners perplexed and irascible. In short, he wanted to know how he could have the money to afford to keep his business open while his profit is being “spread around” like fertilizer on the plains. Fitting because this fact that Joe is as famous as he is would be considered poo-poo anyway!

That one question has made him the poster boy of the GOP and the public enemy #1 of the DNC. Joe… meet politics.

This dude has been vetted more than Sarah Palin! Now – thanks largely to the uber “we loathe Bush” publication New York Timeswe know he has no plumber’s license (which is not needed until employ), owes some cash on back taxes (um, and the NYT doesn’t?!) and doesn’t belong to a union (AND?!).The guy can’t even walk outside in his skivvies to get the morning paper without 10 TV cameras judging the brand of his whitie-tighties.

Are liberal parvenus so timid and insecure that when an outsider dominates headlines that you have to impale him above the fold? Leave the guy alone! When this becomes a country where are not permitted to ask our representatives questions without fear of reprocution, then I’ll become like Michael Jackson and beat it in some other country.

But wait! There’s more… Here’s Part Deux:

And so, this is a tragic microcosm of politics and the voting process in this country. Who cares about issues?! That’s boring, so let’s drum up drama and dig up some dirt on the candidates and the many brainwashed devoutees who support them. Right? Just ask Joe. The man will probably be skiddish to vote from now on, and all because the national media ran out of monkey feces to fling against the wall.

All I know is if Joe can’t parlay all this attention into a ramp-up for his business, forget the tax break Obama’s plan may stick him with… he may need to get a loan to support his staff. All things happen for a reason. Maybe the media camped out on his lawn will settle him for life.

So, to use a line from Joe, “Hey media. Stick all that in your pipe and smoke it!”