Archive for October 13, 2008

Just in time for the holidays is a doll slamming the shelves that makes me want to steer not to the toy section, but around itthe Mommy Cuddle n’ Coo.

Every time I stroll down the toy area of my favorite French boutique, Tar-zhay, the second my cart meanders in their possessed aisle, I “puddle and poo.” Those things – en masse – begin ranting with their automated giggle in stereo and skeeres the bejesus out of me. Those loony little dolls freak me out.

You know, I abhor Christmas stuff hitting stores before Halloween, but with this sardonic slobbering thing, it’s fitting. And now, thanks to this story here – and the clip below – I know why!

It’s inspiration was Linda Blair and her split-pea soup. Better yet, Osama bin Laden and the reason he runs from the troops! Click, watch and learn… and then planning on getting your lil’ Wall Watcher another Barbie.

Good news, Wall Watchers… Rev. Billy Graham is doing well after an overnight hospitalization, thanks to CNN.

Graham, a near nonagenarian come Nov. 7, was hanging out in the Smoky Mountains at “Little Piney Cove” when he tripped… over the dog.

Please! Like you haven’t done this?!

You wake up early in the morning to pee. (Let’s keep it real, people). While stumbling into corners and doors, you get the porcelain destination and handle up on your business. Little did you know, your faithful companion stumbled up with you, threw his or her fuzzy carcass down at the foot of the door – ever-faithful to remain by your side.

You flush, wash and… careen into the adjacent wall, bruise your forehead with your pajamas sliding down to your ankles.

Oh sure, you stand straight up and blame the dog for your moment on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”, but deep down you know, you loved it. Such is life at the Graham homestead as well – except when he does it, America’s holds its breath and awaits the outcome. When you do it… well, your significant other yells at you for waking up the kids and demands you get your blessed @$$urance back to bed!

Ah well, let’s hope ACLU doesn’t call PETA for abuse. Back to the news.

For months, evangelicals have been up-in-arms surrounding the brainwashed Obamaniacs that have called this cat from Chicago, the “Messiah”. Then again, others have called him, the “Antichrist.”

Whatever happened to people just calling him “Senator”?!

I suppose one title of distinction isn’t enough for an effective self-esteem these days. A brother needs a little something to go with his afterglow. The closer we get to the dreaded day in November and those pseudo-debates issuing nothing but hot air and empty promises, I thought for certain the blod claims were over.

Not so much. Did you see what the bloviating bigot, Louis Farrakhan, had to say about the Democratic candidate? Peep the video for what he clamored in front of mass audience of 100s of impressionable youth. A hearty bricklaying shout out to brick in the Wall, LaVrai, for snuffing this out.

Now, full disclosure, Farrakhan checks himself before he wrecks himself and issues, “Obama is not the Messiah for sure.” I know one thing, this “for sure” has nothing to do with the election, his ability to be president or his propensity to sway this country into a position of prosperity.

Listen, Wall Watchers, this is not a man who flings poo against the bricks flippantly. If he says it, he believes it. There is no room for the media to “distort his message” or “misquote what he meant.”

He knows full well what he said… if only the millions of delusional devotees knew what he meant. Because from that quote, it doesn’t even sound like he did. If only…

Is it too late to ask for Ross Perot to run for office? 🙂