Archive for October 6, 2008

For months, I have seen reviews, recommendations and rants about Bill Maher’s pathetic “mockumentary” and affront on the Church, “Religulous.”

Personally, I have just never thought Maher was funny. Don’t get me wrong, he’s sharp as a tack, but his humor just doesn’t whet my appetite with his “hot and cold,” 15-year old schtick. Then again, some folk loathe Robin Williams and I think he is a couple of IQ points shy of genius. C’est la vie.

However, the one thing that is consistent about this shrew is his abhorrent hatred for God AND the entire Body of Christ. Great, you don’t like God. Lovely, you can do without Jesus. I get it. How do you turn this thing off anyway? However, what he is doing is about as transparent as his lack of faith…

Anyone who is half-cocked with common sense, linear thinking and backed by Hollywood can altar any sense of perception (Michael Moore, anyone?) What’s bone-gritting and unconsciousable about what Maher is doing is that… half of what he is saying is RIGHT because he doesn’t have far to look before he runs into a “religulous” kook.

To him – and people like him – this is your example of “Be a Christian, be like me”: Robert Tilton, Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, David Koresh, Jim Jones, Andrea Yates. Sigh, need I go on?! Lately, at least in the news, there seems to be a possessed fulcrum on this jacked-up balance.

One side of the Jesus spectrum are the Amish, Mennonites and anyone else who looks like they stormed off the set of “The Village.” And on the other side is every fruit, nut and flake that makes up the public life of Jesus Christ. From the scandals in megachurches to the lifestyles of the rich and infamous on Christian TV, Maher has a cornucopia of material to make this movie. Why is this such a surprise?

Heck, bad witnesses, hypocritical preachers and deplorable Christian lives seemed to be the yard-thick albatross that permitted me from meeting the true living God. Come on. If THAT was the mirror image of what it meant to be saved, wouldn’t you rather just be lost? Evidently, Bill Maher has the same problem and the Body of Christ has a part in the blame.

Maher more than finds the fault with believing in a God you can’t see, he vituperates it. Vehemently. Why? He can deny it until his sense of humor becomes well, humorus again but that man has been burned somehow by some tool who said he or she “loved Jesus.” Don’t believe me?

How many bigots have you known? Why does their prejudice exist? Because at some point in their lives, they met the living, breathing reason for the stereotype they hold dear. Regardless the race or religion, gender or geography, if you have hatred toward a mass of people, it’s typically because you sniffed out the one rotten apple in the bunch.

Well, Bill Maher has a sensitive nose, a hell-bent attitude and most likely a hardened heart. He’s not Satan. He’s not a tool of the devil. He’s simple a broken dude on a mission to bash the one thing that has caused him pain. If only he knew those tools he has come across don’t speak for God, just God does. Not knowing that is religulous. And that’s no joke.

Looks like John Freshwater's students need to shave.

Looks like John Freshwater has students who need to shave

We have been waiting a long while for news to rise from the Mount Vernon ISD, which is currently holding the trial for Wall of Famer John Freshwater – his Bible, steadfast faith, determination to stand up for God and rumored tendency to cattle prod his 8th grade students in the name of Jesus.

What began as a teacher who was canned for refusing to take a Bible off his desk has now morphed into a law suit for child abuse because of ‘Teach’ here lovingly (and allegedly) branding his students with crosses. I tell ya’, Hollywood will be calling for the script rights soon…

Anywhoo, an interesting turn of events occurred while Freshwater was sweating for his gig, the Superintendent of Mount Vernon ISD got his back in the most pathetic way.

Mount Vernon’s school superintendent [Steve Short] testified today that he didn’t think burn marks that 8th grade science teacher John Freshwater is accused of placing on a student’s arm were abuse that needed to be reported to child protection authorities. “I do not believe he meant to hurt the student,” Short testified yesterday, “but I do believe it was a cross.”

Nice. Remind me to keep this guy on my “Never use in case of emergency” friends list. I can just see Freshwater, clutching his Bible and praying for the best when his boss takes the stand. “I don’t think those marks were bad.” The sigh of relief from Freshwater probably blew off someone’s toupee, and with one other sentence, Freshwater sucked out all the air in the courtroom.

Tell me, Super’, how did the cross get in the kid’s arm in the first place? Stigmata? Maybe someone should alert the Vatican because that child may be a saint! Too far-fetched? Then how about the kid fell asleep in class and was leaning on his trusty 4 ft. tall crucifix he carries to each class. Penance, you know?!

But THAT is not the worst part about “BibleTazerGate”. Evidently, it was a TREND IN THE SCHOOL!

Short also testified today that at least three other teachers had used the device on students. He did not say whether any of those students were injured. One teacher told him that she made a “quick motion” with the device on a student’s arm, Short said.

MEMO TO ALL PARENTS OF THE MOUNT VERNON, OHIO ISD: Pack yo’ bags and move your self to Cleveland. I would rather risk drive-bys at the bus stop than being tazed in class.