Archive for September 30, 2008

Sounds obvious, right? Yeah, you’re so sly. You knew there was a catch.

Once again, this historic election continues its journey down the topsy-turvy of mindmelding worlds of faith and politics. The sheep of the Church have no idea who to believe about issues of faith so they just bah at the first politician who shouts, “God.”

Now, according to this story from the Washington Post, they won’t have far to scurry.

And why? Check the headline and note the strategy: So, every time you turn on your favorite CCM or uber-conservative talk radio station, who would you assume will be talking to you during the commercials? I’ll give you a hint – he’s old, gray and conservative. That’s right… any Republican with an advertising budget running for office.

Well, scratch that… because Dem’ Dems are coming to Nashville – the utopia of Christian radio! Why?

“I think it would be shocking to a lot of people if you interviewed Christian artists, the split would be pretty even” between Republicans and Democrats, says Grant Hubbard, vice president of promotion for EMI Christian Music Group, one of the biggest labels. “The consumer, on the other hand, is about 80-20.”

While this story drones on and on, in an interesting sort of way, it makes one – well, me – think, why not?!

Who is to say you have to be a Christian in order to be a Republican?! Without prattling verbatim about something HiScrivener feels passionately about, check out this post here.

In other words, sports fans, Jesus loved us so much that when he created Adam out of his breath and dirt, he gave him the ability to reason, think and communicate. Otherwise, I may as well be a duck-billed playtpus. That said, why do you vote?

Because a candidate is stereotypically “the only one who supports pro-life”? If that’s the case, Obama ain’t your guy. Or is it because a candidate “visibly supports biblical issues”? And if that is the case, do you really have a clue?

Although this is a polytheistic nation, we serve a singular God. Read the flippin’ Bible and determine what his candidacy would run on, then answer me this, “Do you think Jesus would advertise on Christian radio to get the attention of Christians?”

Yeah, I thought you would agree. Incidentally, the next story in this series will be about John McCain taking out a full-page spread in Ebony. Now that should be good reading.

The only cracked around here is dude's point of view

The only cracked around here is this dude and his point of view

If only I could make this stuff up, wrap it in satire and patent it as “intellectual property,” I would be a star writer on SNL. Ah, the high life.

Back to reality, meet Francis Macnab – a controversial cult leader with a knack for not reading much good religious writ. This dolt decided to “create” a religion the other day that would be “a new faith for the 21st century.”

In order to get his new found, irksome religion off to a good start, he has to make some bold claims including:

  • Abraham is probably a concoction
  • Moses was a mass murderer
  • Jesus Christ was a Jewish peasant who certainly was not God
  • The Ten Commandments was one of the most negative documents ever written

According to Dr. Macnab [psychotherapist and executive minister at the generically entitled, “St. Michael’s Uniting Church”], the new faith is a Dr. Feelgood version of the fluff, the non-convicting and the footloose and fancy free of the biggies – Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism and Judaism. Why?

The old faith is in large sections unbelievable. We want to make the new faith more believable, realistic and helpful in terms of the way people live,” he said.

Hey uh, “Doc”, the next time you are inditing the “new” Ten Commandments and you consider, “Thou Shalt be Lukewarm” to be a big hit for your brainwashed victimser, followers, consider what the “old God” thought about that word…

So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth (Revelation 3:16)

I’m no expert on swimming in saliva, but I would imagine the G.I. Tract of the Almighty is not a great place to be. So, good luck with that, you turd.

Meet “Pastor” Steve Richardson from Royce City, Texas.

This is a twisted degenerate of the highest order who apparently didn’t have a great broadband connection at his own den of iniquity, so he decided to use the church computer (yes, where he was senior pastor) for some JPEG exchanges and vagarious chatting.

He’s a “pastor,” how bad could it be?! How does naked shots of children ages 3 – 10 grab ya’ as sick?

Yeah, that’s this guy.

Richardson was busted after he allegedly sent images to an undercover federal agent, who used another child pornography suspect’s identity, authorities said. Graphic online chats between Richardson and the agent are documented in the criminal complaint.

The court documents report when Richardson, under the user name cowboysspades, asked “Vlad,” the undercover agent, about a child’s age, he stated “even more awesome” when the agent responded four.

Listen, folk I work with know I am saved and have no qualms talking about faith. Candidly, I am dreading going to work on Monday because are going to be asking the ubiquitious question, “Why does God allow this?”

I don’t know, but I tell you, when this tool ends up in jail, I hope his new bunkmate wakes him up early in the morning… time and time and time again.

When the melody sings, “Jesus loves the little children,” it wasn’t meant to mean that way… and that little. This is an atrocity, and I don’t know how “Vlad” felt while pegging this guy in a corner, but I can tell you one thing – I would love to see him “impaled.”

OK, OK, I’ll repent after I applaud. Satisfied?