Experience? Who needs it. Know-how? Who cares. Chutzpah? Who knows.

This election will be the most historic of our generation so why not involve God just a little more. How? Oh, well that’s easy. Ensure the potential Veep is demon-proof and she is protected from witchcraft. No, really.

I mean, when you’re in a pinch against terrorism or any diabolical foreign heads-of-state, a girl has got to get her swerve on against them and the ballyhooed influences that drive them, right?

Check this grainy video for proper documentation of Palin and her superpowers:

Now, while I remove my tongue from its resting place aside my salivary cheek glands, let’s take a stroll down amnesia lane. Remember McCarthyism? The so-called “political witch hunt”? Anyone? Evidently, this 1940s and 1950s metaphorical “witch hunting” is now modern-day reality for the throng of liberal media to feast upon.

You aren’t going to get a member of the media – whether saved or not – who will stand up for this prayer and understand its about metaphysical and spiritual influences, and not physical pitchfork-carrying, red-faced ne’er-do-wells.

But because of the hype surrounding Rev. Thomas Muthee (the witch hunter in question) who brags about chasing away witches and shamans from towns, Sarah Palin gets pulled in this holy hodgepodge and now her intelligence is yanked into the fray for political capabilities. Good times ahead for late night TV.

So, come on media… bring it.

Let’s joke about burning innocent women to the stake in Salem, Massachusetts 300 years ago and how Sarah Palin hates fire. Have some fun about Broom Hilda and ask Sarah Palin to put lipstick on that thing. I can hear the talk shows now putting up images about the medieval days of lore and placing the Palin clan in Druid garb brewing up some human flesh stew over a toasty campfire.

In other words, somewhere… someplace… Barack Obama and Joe Biden are slapping a big high-five and placing Ol’ Rev. Constantine here on their Christmas card list in a couple of months. And John McCain is probably reaching for the Tums.

Ah, elections. Someday, we’ll talk about helping Americans with their livelihoods instead of Hollywood with all these freak movie plots.

  1. […] { if (vbc) vbc.style.visibility = ‘hidden’; e.style.backgroundColor = ‘#fff’ }); }); MOVE 2008: What Sarah Palin… trackback from post […Experience? Who needs it. Know-how? Who cares. Chutzpah? Who knows.This […]

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