Archive for September 26, 2008

Evidently, someone asked God about this Kenyan pastor’s indiscretions, and he said, “When”.

And what a side-splitting fashion. Oh Jesus, you so crazy.

So, what happened? Let’s go to Nairobi, Kenya (in Africa, for those without an Atlas) and visit a simpleton pastor preaching his sermon when he paused to show the world his sin, as noted by the East African Standard.

You see, it gets toasty under the sun and brother needed to wipe the trickling sweat off his brow. Understandable, so reach in your pocket… past the keys… your wallet… breath mints… there… and pull out A PAIR OF PANTIES TO BLOT YOUR HEAD.

Oh, and his wife was sitting in the front row. Stay classy, Rev.

But his adulterous adventures caught up with him while delivering the lunchtime sermon before a huge gathering when he wiped out the ‘handkerchief’ to the utter shock of believers.

“One of the faithful walked straight to the pulpit and alerted him about the mistake upon which he quickly returned the underwear into his pocket. But it was too late as his wife was in attendance and had seen everything,” Mr Martin Okoyo, who attended the session, told Crazy Monday.

Well, he tried. What’s that adage about what’s done in the dark will come to the light? Let’s see a clandestine booty call late at night was made public as your preach under a blazing sun. Yeah, I’d say that is poetic justic of biblical proportions.

Greatness.

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Several years ago, when this huckleberry boy with a big set of pipes took the stage at “American Idol,” you just knew something was awry with a young Clay Aiken.

Ruben Studdard beat him, but Clay’s star continued to rise. Through his songs and then on Broadway, the presumptive thoughts kept creeping up and then he goes on “Regis & Kelly,” and more than a cat came out of his closet.

And after yesterday’s edition of People magazine hit the shelves, now we know why. For those whose batteries in their Gay-dar haven’t been replaced, Clay’s Gay. Sorry 12-year old girls and 45 year-old frows.

I mean, seriously, what straight guy does that? To her? Oh well, I guess we know.

So, why is it on the Wall? Get this quote from a dude shady enough to have a child to cover up what he does in the dark only to step outside his closet and couldn’t find the spotlight, so…

“Of course (I feel at odds with my faith). I have to respect the people who disagree with me. I don’t struggle with it anymore, but there have been times that I have. And I still consider myself a born-again Christian, and I am absolutely comfortable with that and comfortable with my salvation.

Due respect to Ray Boltz, no one saw that coming and no one knows how long he has been dealing with it. Clay, on the other hand, come on! That hair, that voice, those denials. Puh-lease.

However, you can’t have it both ways, Body. Most Christians love Boltz, but even more laugh at Aiken. That’s the thing about God’s grace, it sees no personality, only a soul for which Jesus died. Good thing, because if God was a man that could be swayed by emotion, I would have lost my salvation YEARS AGO.

So, as much as I’ll grit my teeth and not slam Clay’s head against a brick wall with acerbity, BOTH Aiken and Boltz need to ask themselves something, “Is this really what Jesus wants for your life… and that of your family’s?”

I mean Clay, if your faith is so solid, then it doesn’t matter what twisted psychobabble and pablum you hear at a MCC church? Show us all how comfortable you are, go straight to a Bible and tell me for yourself. Oh, and wash your hands.