Archive for September 25, 2008

Yeah, yeah. You knew HiScrivener couldn’t leave this one alone.

Hey Weeks. The Church is talking to you!

Hey Weeks. The Church is talking to you!

Any story about the sanctimonius schliemiel, “Bishop” Thomas Weeks, and his lustfuler, entrepreneurialI mean, heartfelt exploits to locate Wifey #3 just had to be a “Brickhouse Series.” So, away we go…

Well, “Bishop” Thomas Weeks’ cracked production crew at the ready, scriptures hi-lited ready to twist and a platoon of security guarding the front door in case his formerly battered bride decided to show up to give him the “Juanita Bynum Once-over.”

But Thomas Weeks’ quest for a cover-up and his uh, reality show “Who Wants to be the Next Mrs. Weeks” was for not, as we see in this article from the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

The first full episode of “Who Will Be the Next Mrs. Weeks” was postponed because of incomplete contract negotiations with a reality television producer. Those who logged onto www.bishopweeks.com Tuesday saw what seemed like an infomercial about Weeks instead of the lively conversation about dating featured in the reality show’s promo. “The show was modified due to the fact of ongoing talks with network producers and network stations who are ramped up to do the first Christian reality dating program,” Weeks said.

Dude! This is not some act VH1 is taking on the road. This is you pilfering through the personals for the next girl who will catch a beatdown as you “lay on of hands.” All the while, you will work to maintain and offer CPR to your 15 minutes of fame.

So, on we go with the man currently serving three years probation for ADMITTING TO SPOUSAL ABUSE. (Did I mention that yet)? I don’t know what is more hilarious – the fact that he thinks this is a real “reality show”, or that he believes he can use it to preach?!

‘Who will be the Next Mrs. Weeks’ is an open dialogue for us to talk — good, bad or indifferent,” Weeks said. “You know in the church we really don’t talk about hot topic issues, we bury it. We become silent.”

Does he even realize the mockery he is making of marriage, his church, his members, himself… and oh yeah, his GOD!? Of course he does, and has no regard or shame in the matter. This, Wall Watchers, is called a fraud. The only thing this preaches is a means to an end… and infernal one, if he doesn’t watch his step.

“Hot topics”?! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

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This story from the Washington Post is an oxymoronic orthopraxy. How’s that for alliteration? Get this:

Congregants find megachurches offer more personal worship and sense of community than smaller churches, according to a study released yesterday that challenges the conventional wisdom that some large churches are too big to offer a spiritual experience.

Uh yeah, about that. That is saying two different things.

  1. Personal worship, not so much. That’s like saying in China, “I feel so alone.” ‘Nuff said.
  2. Sense of community, of course. You see, in places like Fellowship Church, Willow Creek, Lakewood and Saddleback, it’s more than a “sense” of community. It’s an actual community. All we are missing is a fire department and those churches could fight for annexation.

That aside, the Institute for Studies of Religion did find some interesting church fun facts on their study of megachurches:

  • Their members were twice as likely to have friends in the congregation than members of small churches.
  • Megachurches tend to be more evangelical than small churches
  • 92 percent of megachurch members believe that hell “absolutely exists,” compared with just over three-quarters of small-church members
  • 80 percent of megachurch worshippers believe that the Rapture will “absolutely” take place, compared with less than half of those who attend small churches

So, where does that leave the body of Christ? Purists are crying out for a real church expereince and believe that can’t be found in a place where the walls can’t be seen and the people in the chairs are faceless, nameless and often conviction-less.

Then comes this introspective study to debunk all of that ballyhoo. HiScrivener has a theory: Make your church experience – YOURS. Go there, worship God, believe in Jesus and make a relationship out of it. If you fancy being a fly on the wall in a big house, or a fly in the ointment at a small one, who cares? What matters is that you follow God and love the Lord… regardless of where you show up on Sundays.

DATELINE: The hugely Muslim populated country of Indonesia

HEADLINE: Stephen Tong is the world’s bravest pastor

Why? This dude is opening a megachurch in a country made up of violent Muslims and knows he’ll make a difference. In fact, the country breakdown is as follows:

Muslim majority (86%), Protestants (6%), Catholics (6%), Hindus (1.8%) and other faiths

This is the world’s biggest Muslim nation known for forcing out seminaries and churches at will. You think that’s going to stop Stephen Tong, Superpastor? Not in the least. Which incidentally, would this be the first story of the separation of Church and Mosque?! Ah, well… back to the story.

“This proves that there are no restrictions from the Indonesian government to build religious centres,” said Tong, a charismatic preacher who founded the Indonesian Reformed Evangelical Church in 1989. “It gives the world a new impression of Indonesia: it is not a messy country or full of troubles.”

Not that my medulla was full of opinions on Jakarta, but because of this story, I do have a firm opinion of him.

This is one bold Christian, and in a country where Muslims have been known to thrash and even burn churches, he must be a man of prayer as well.

Wall Watchers, persecution of Christians and religion is very real over the pond. This church has an opportunity to be a bright light in a dark and dank land. God, protect this man and that church. Keep it strong and fortified and allow its doors to stay open to the millions of Muslims and the tens of Christians in that country.