I don’t think there is any singular thing that obliterates perceptions of the Church and keeps those “interested but not ready to commit to God” than STEREOTYPES.

In case you are wrapped in the Old Rugged Cross and unable to see how most of the Christians you know fit the stereotypes, then here’s a quick lesson before we get to what Baptists are doing to keep the myth going.

  • Anyone know a waiter? Ask them what is the most-hated shift: Sunday Brunch. Ask them why and get back to me.
  • Anyone know a bill collector? Ask them what is one of the top five excuses for not paying. Answer: Tithe. Huh?!
  • Anyone know someone who isn’t saved? Ask them what is one of the top five reasons they are not. Answer: Christians. No. Kidding.

In other words, stereotypes – albeit atrocious – become that way for a reason. Whether it’s because of the media, watching COPS, dilapidated communities, rumor or even movies, the vocal AND VISUAL majority of any group make them true.

And this story from the Southern Baptist Convention doesn’t help matters any. Evidently, the SBC has decided the term “Southern” is keeping them away from being invited to certain parties, according to a recent poll by Lifeway Research:

27 percent of Southern Baptist senior pastors strongly or somewhat agreed with the statement, “Having the name ‘Southern’ in the ‘Southern Baptist Convention’ is a hindrance to the work of SBC churches.” Not everyone felt that way: 41 percent strongly disagreed with the statement; 27 percent somewhat disagreed and 5 percent said they didn’t know (courtesy RNS).

How’s that, pastors? You can’t find enough real estate to build inside the friendly confines of a trailer park? Perhaps, your praise and worship team is no longer rocking those crusty hymns because they are considering adding “Dueling Banjos” to the Sunday playlist. Oh, oh, I know. They are taking the biblical term, “DELIVERANCE” to another level and are now squealing like pigs during service.

Whatever the reason, you turds should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you really think folk still think the “South will rise again”? The um, white pressed sheet wearing folk who burn crosses, is all but a glimmer of what they used to be and speaking of flecks on humanity, skinheads are growing out their hair and calling it a day.

In case you cacophonus gaggle of dimwits haven’t consulted a history book since you know, the invention of the printing press, the Civil War is over and black people can actually pee in the “Whites Only” bathroom.

Oh well, I believe I have a HiScrivener solution for you. No worries, you’ll all like it. Close your churches and begin having worship in bowling alleys. You know, with all the big white bellies and tall red necks the SBC is throwing down these days, your congregations will feel right at home.

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