Archive for September 14, 2008

Suicide bombers. Genocide. The trials of 9-11. Narrow-minded, blindly-devoted terrorists working to get into the 7th heaven and a gaggle of vestal virgins will do anything for their zealot rewards club.

Now we have this story from Great Britain about these hebetudinous Hamas Jihadists considering a peculiar form of world domination.

A hate fanatic has boasted that Muslims will one day conquer Britain — by having more babies. Speaking at a rally marking 9/11, Anjem Choudary bragged that a birth explosion would let followers of Islam take control of the country.

Here’s a question: If these hate-monger subversives believe having babies is way to take over the world, what good will a jihad be if you are too friggin’ tired to suit up for battle?!

Another thing to consider: How focused is a Middle Eastern thug when all his 100s of babay kids are pinging him on the cell asking for cash and the keys to the car?

You know if all that er, “burning calories” is worth shacking up with 72 virgins in Muslim heaven, then I have more food for thought for these moronic mercenaries:

  1. After an explosion and warfare, a pillager tends to stink. What if the virgins aren’t interested in a dude with a severe case of B.O.?
  2. What if he swings both ways, does he rock with 36 of each?
  3. If the virgins start coping an attitude, begin griping about the air conditioning, hogging the sheets, hiding the remote and want more cuddle time, is it really heaven or possibly hell?
  4. What if the terrorist feels frisky wants to bring a 73rd to the mix? Is that considered a menage-a-soixante-dix-trois?
  5. Instead of “Handel’s Messiah” clamoring as the goon enters the pearly gates, considering all the extracurricular activities he will endure, does he instead hear “Viva Viagra”?

Ah well. Good thing those sanctimonious simpletons have access to all that oil. I hear child support can put a damper on things around the holidays.

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Wall-of-Famer John Freshwater has been knee-high in legal papers lately with the much ado about something ballyhoo in the Mount Vernon School District.

Brother carries a Bible to school, stands up for Jesus and then rumors float amid the school system about him branding his students with crosses and refusing to reach school curriculum that conflicted with Christian beliefs. Consider the odds.

And now, tired of fighting for his job and reputation, Freshwater fights back according to this story from NBC in Columbus, Ohio.

John Freshwater claimed emotional distress, lost time from work and anxiety in his lawsuit. Plus, he wanted this case to be heard before a jury.

Although his vocational apocalypse hearing is now October 1, his legal woes payday may not be soon far behind. And then, well, he can do whatever he wants with his Bible. You know, kinda like he should have been able to do in the first place.