Meet Levi Zachariah Humphrey – birthday boy, belligerent drunk and blessed savior of the known universe.
Evidently, Jesus likes to party because he was arrested while sitting butt-naked throwing a temper tantrum just off shore of the Pacific Ocean. No, really!
Cpl. Michael Kovar called out to the man, who was sitting in shallow water about 100 feet away from the bridge, but he refused to go to shore and appeared intoxicated, screaming at himself and splashing, according to arrest reports. Kovar headed out in the boat and plucked him from the water. The man repeatedly refused to disclose his name. Kovar handcuffed him for safety reasons and the man spit on the boat. When Kovar told him to stop, he spit in Kovar’s face, so the corporal turned him away from him as they headed to shore. After more prompting, Humphrey relented and said he was Jesus Christ.
Stay classy, Mr. Messiah… er, Humphrey.
Evidently, the judge on this case needs a little church’n up too:
The judge gave him some advice about swimming while drunk and naked. “Get a cape next time,” Baker said. “It was humorous in a way, but you could have drowned.”
Unless Superman had a flotation device around his back that in case of emergency, he could pull a string and out pops a squeaky ducky head – what Jesus movie is this cat watching where the King of Kings had a flippin’ cape?! I need to go back to my study Bible for this one.