Man needs cab fare to go to hell

Posted: August 20, 2008 in IJS, On Your Wall
Tags: , , , , ,

Some people have death wishes and then there are folk like this tool who just do away with wishing and buy a promise ring from Satan himself.

Dateline: Lancaster, Penn.

It’s a Bible camp, full of kids and their imaginations running wild with memory verses and those mind-numbing camp songs. “I’ve got the joy, joy, joy…” Oh, stop the madness! Maybe that’s why this happened?

You see, while “This lil’ light of mine” was shining bright, some guy jonesin’ for demonic possession decides to raid the camp in the pitch of night for some valuables.

The cash, a laptop computer and 90 unopened pints of Turkey Hill iced tea were taken from a lodge at Greenview Bible Camp on Fivepointville Road in Brecknock Township, state police said. The cash — 350 $1 bills — was donated during a fund raising event attended by hundreds of motorcyclists, Trooper James Algeo said.

Unbelievable. Crackheads will stoop to any level for a quick fix. But maybe hell’s newest tenant was up to something else:

Thefts at religious fundraisers are rare, police said. “This is the first that I know of,” Algeo said. The trooper said he wasn’t sure what the raised funds were going to be used for.

Let’s see? $350 in ONE DOLLAR BILLS?! You really need a detective to figure that out or should I just draw you a map to the nearest [COUGH] Gentlemen’s Club?! Stay classy, dude.

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