Lindsay Lohan’s faith is full of schtick

Posted: August 16, 2008 in Networking, On Your Wall, Snap, Crackle and POP Culture
Tags: , , , ,

Hollywood cracks me up.

The local government should erect a barrier around its city limits, put a lovely padlock on the entry (golden, no less) and have a marquee outside glowing, “Welcome to the Club.”

Why not? It has everything a typical country club has – people ridden with more plastic than I have in my wallet, everyone embellishes about their own achievements and snarling at everyone else’s, caste systems within caste systems and of course, it’s all about being seen, being heard and not being real.

Take Lindsay Lohan.

Always on a search for something that matters and she has looked everywhere – rehab clinics, parties, the bottom of a bottle and her oddball parent dragging on her coattails for the ride. Well, there’s another place she has looked that most people fancying a voyage of self-fulfillment – faith.

Most people search books, churches and look for friends who claim to have a walk with some sort of spiritual being. Not in Hollywood though. If you want faith, you better make sure you go where the paparazzi is located because in while praying, your status is of the utmost importance. And Lindsay is no exception, unfortunately.

“She’s exploring right now,” he [her dad] says. “She’s explored the Church of Scientology, she tried Kabbalah, and now this. I think it’s just another phase. But either way, she’s involving God in her life, and I’m happy about that.”

A relationship with Christ is not a trend! You can’t just bandwagon faith in God and see which trend is more heralded in the public eye, but that is what she is doing. Both Scientology and Kabbalah are big players in the Hills. Why? They promote humanism and psychology – in other words, control your own destiny and leave faith at the door. But those didn’t work, so now she’ll give YHWH a shot. And according to this article, Daddy is a “born again Christian” but applauds her explorations in cultism and religion where she has no association.

Maybe I just love my own lil’ Wall Watchers too much, but if I see them driving a car down a road marked “Dead End”, I would throw at GPS at them so hard, it could bruising. MEMO to all parents: Just because your cat gives birth in your oven, it don’t make them biscuits. You feel me? Just because you say “God” several times a day, doesn’t mean you love him, his son and the Church one iota more than say… “Say-tin”?

You know, that “town” has diluted faith so much like pasta through a strainer – only instead of eating all that scrumptious pasta, they drink the salt water left behind. Yummy that’s some good tasting faith. There is so much more to a relationship with God than swimming in a pool of salt water waiting for the next great epiphany from some dude calling himself an OT 8 or pretending to be a rabbi teaching esoteric feel-good Judaism. I suppose the poor girl should stop falling in her “Parent Trap” and just “Get a Clue”. (Thanks IMDB.)

Or maybe she will just get kicked out of the club and get a real job. God has done stranger things to get someone’s attention – hers or her parents.

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