Quick quiz: What do you get out of frozen holy water? POPESICLES.

Believe it or not, that’s not a feeble attempt at being punny or even an overt try at sacrilege. That seems to be the marketing credo within Christian circles these days. Let’s find a common item that everyone uses and discover a way to tie Jesus into it… then sell it to the masses. Don’t believe me? Here’s a depressing story for those Wall Watchers that want more out of a relationship with Jesus than to see some shyster making a quick buck in the name of ‘witnessing’.

Click here (AND WATCH THE REVEALING NEWS CLIP) on ABC News for “What Would Jesus Buy?”

Is this really what the Church has in mind? Listen, I’m all over good attempts at creating well-done merchandise in hopes of becoming mainstream (NOTE: Pierced and NOTW clothing lines. Very nice indeed), but selling Jesus bobbleheads, mocked board games like “Jesusopoly” and of course everyday logos and brands butchered to become unwittingly accomplices to evangelism.

This is where I draw the proverbial line in the sand with my own creative adroitness. We serve the God of the universe, the maker of all genius and have the ability to call upon the mind of Christ at any time. Well, we can right? Then why is it the best “God can come up with” is this (NOTE the picture)?! You know why the two aforementioned clothing companies are so successful – they are original! The same for a simple acronym that created a trend mainstream marketing still implements – WWJD. Genius.

But, as the Bible keeps thumping along, Chri$tian$ see a tiny leprechaun leading them to other acronyms like F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely on God), G.O.L.F. (God Offers Love & Forgiveness) and P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens). Yeah, how did that work out? We can do better than this saints. Question: Why don’t we?! Laziness? Apathy? Ineptitude? Underqualified? Maybe those in charge of such numskull marketing epiphanies aren’t saved in the first place?! Who knows? Good Lord. All I know is this stuff is getting carried away… and it’s baaaaaaaaaad.

Does HiScrivener own Christian paraphernalia? You bet, and it is an effective way of witnessing – sometimes. One of the previously cited shirts with its sacrosanct pictographs? A great conversation starter. Wearing a cross around your neck? Not so much – see Madonna for the why. Stealing a logo and putting God’s name in it? In the words of Bob Uecker, “Missed it by that much.”

We can do better. We should do better.

  1. […] marketing, music, witness, worship Once again, a well-meaning Christian creates an inauspicious product for purchase in hopes of second-hand witnessing and ends up hurling more hilarity at the Church and […]

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