Today’s episode in “How the Stomach Turns” involves the Stepford wife, Victoria Osteen directly.
The tale of air woe takes to complete reiteration of why we are here (Vicky cracking open a can of sanctified whoop @$$ on a flight attendant) and how bad it allegedly became (Vicky getting the red @$$ because she wasn’t given the red carpet).
After two flight attendants take the stand in civil court claiming abuse, “air rage” and the obvious race card, things got a little personal and very interesting as Ward Cleaver himself, Joel Osteen took the stand today and an oath (on that Bible thingy he seems to skirt around weekly).
The festivities kicked off with a cheese log amount of spin control from the diva in question:
The wife of megachurch evangelist Joel Osteen told jurors Friday she was “dumbfounded” and “shook up” after a Continental Airlines flight attendant accused her of assaulting her over a spill on a first-class seat. “I love people. I’m guilty of that,” Victoria Osteen said.
Oh my. I’m sorry I seem to have something in my eye… sniff sniff. No, not tears just the stench of that poo just flung against the wall. Whew! You know, forget the law suit and let’s gather ’round and sing a chorus of “We are the World.” No? OK, carry on.
According to the Houston Chronicle, Joel Osteen remained “calm on the stand.” Color me astounded at that news flash. If the guy raised his temperature one degree, I think I would have had to race to my television set for the Weather Channel to check if indeed hell had frozen over.
It didn’t because I’m sure the dippity do scurried down his brow during this lovely exchange:
Joel Osteen testified earlier Friday, supporting his wife’s claim and calling the incident “an unfortunate misunderstanding.” Osteen, who was on the same flight, said his wife could never attack somebody. “We would never disrespect authority or disrespect the flight attendant,” Joel Osteen said.
MEMO to the Milquetoast Ministers: You disrespected “authority and the flight attendant” the MOMENT one of you expected and demanded the hired help to wipe a quarter-sized spillage (never mind she has an entire plane to attend) and the other of you just sat there with the knowing nod of highfalutence and elitism. And uh, Vicky, if you are guilty of anything, it’s that.
The Federal Aviation Administration fined Victoria Osteen $3,000 for interfering with a crew member. The Osteens said they did not want to pay the fine but thought it would be the best way to put the incident behind them even though they felt they did nothing wrong.
THIS is why people claim leading a megachurch simply stretches the underwear elastic out of the caste system boxers. No matter how much mess you try to stuff in your boxers, you just too fat for your own britches. Come down to earth shepherds. The fat of your ego is hanging over your belt, and it ain’t pretty.
Joel and Victoria seem to be so absorbed in their own utopia full of pixie dust and Handel’s Messiah sounding whenever they walk in a room, that they believed paying this wouldn’t have the perception of GUILT! And who has three large to throw around like scraps to the family dog anyway? Not 95 percent of the people I know, just the five percent I watch on TV.
And now for the comic relief of the evening, as if watching the Platonic Pollyanna cry like it was a screen test wasn’t god enough for a giggle.
Brown wants an apology and punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of Victoria Osteen’s net worth as part of her lawsuit. Brown claims she suffers from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder because of the incident and that her faith has been affected. She is also suing for counseling expenses.
Seriously?! Post-traumatic stress?! Those who survived Katrina and 9-11 have PTSD. Soldiers defending our country against the wiles of terror have PTSD. Definitely not polyester-clad stewardesses whose contribution to society is, “Peanuts?”
Her faith has been affected because when the shoe dropped, it made a loud thud. Nice witnessing, Vicky. Stay classy. The “counseling” in question is from her ATTORNEY whose advice has almost led her to the pecuniary Promise Land. Overall, the entire suit is nuts indeed.
Um, can I get a coke with this?