Holy Smoke!

Posted: July 22, 2008 in Denominational Fun, Legal Prejudice, On Your Wall
Tags: , , , ,

At least that’s what delusional “parishioners” will be saying in the Netherlands’ newest church, “The One and Universal Smokers Church of God.”

Yes, way! Check out the story here.

Like everywhere else it seems, smoking is being banned. But instead of going outside to bomb their car during a smoke break, these tools have decided to revolt against the public smoking ban by forming a church!

‘We stand firmly behind the church’s teachings and that is smoking,’ Cor Busch, owner of the former Lindeboom café in Alkmaar told the paper. ‘Smokers are being discriminated against… but a beer and a cigarette belong together.’

And, as if that wasn’t good enough for a one-way trip to hell, there’s this:

People who join the church get a membership card entitling them to smoke inside the building. Worshippers believe in the trinity of smoke, fire and ash and honour their god by smoking.

You realize this dimwitted excuse of a political statement will open the floodgates for impious advertising and the like. I mean, how do you market this eh, church? The Marlboro man with a halo and a pack of reds rolled up in his toga? Creating the 10 Commandments of ‘rolling your own,’ including “Thou Shalt Not Smoke Unfiltered Looseys”?

Or how about prayer time? Someone runs up to the altar looking for lung cancer, because you know, without it the follower of this church just doesn’t seem committed enough?! Amazing. You folk deserve each other, and the overwhelming stench that accompanies you AFTER you leave the room.


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