Pastor practices a different ‘laying on of hands’ ministry

Posted: July 21, 2008 in Denominational Fun, On Your Wall
Tags: , , ,

It’s a good thing the Wall exists. Warning signs about the shepherds sheering the flock crop up everywhere, and folk just need to know the kind of charlatans that are out there.

God is not pleased people, and no place is that safe from his wielding eye. This time, the hand that bides takes us to Wheaton, Illinois.

Meet Rev. Andre Allen.

For 23 years, he was the beloved pastor of Second Baptist Church in this conservative suburb of Chi-town. And in one fatal night, he “handed” it all away for a nonsensical cause. The least Rev. Allen here groped two women while pretending to be a self-defense instructor at a gym in Schaumburg.

Now, that’s original. Well, apparently not.

Allen was also arrested more than a decade ago for allegedly touching two women in a provoking or insulting manner at a fitness center in Lisle.

There is a question I routinely get, “How are sharks like this allowed to feast on the flock from the pulpit?” Answer is a depressing, apoplectic, “I dunno.”

Somehow, I just have to believe God is weeding out the slack in this nation’s pulpits. Time is running out for fraudulent mountebanks like this to feast off unwitting parishioners, so I suppose it’s fitting this dude gets the holy boot for pretending to being something he is most certainly is NOT (you know, like a real pastor).

Good on ya, Rev. I hear McDonalds has some openings in the drive-thru.

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