UCF student kidnaps ‘Christ’

Posted: July 12, 2008 in Above the Fold, Denominational Fun, Keep it real, On Your Wall, Testify
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This, dear Wall watchers, is a prime example of the debate, “What’s the difference between religion and relationship as it pertains to Jesus.”

Meet Senator Webster Cook. (Um, Senator is not his first name, it’s a political distinction on campus. Odd, huh?)

He’s a student at the University of Central Florida, minding his own business, going to his local campus Catholic church when he was apparently accosted for not consuming communion.

Yeah, that’s what I thought as well. Instead of doing what you normally do during this sacramental act, he meanders up to the altar and wants to take the wafer back to his seat for show and tell. So, what’s the problem?

“When I received the Eucharist, my intention was to bring it back to my seat to show [my friend],” Cook said. “I took about three steps from the woman distributing the Eucharist and someone grabbed the inside of my elbow and blocked the path in front of me. At that point I put it in my mouth so they’d leave me alone and I went back to my seat and I removed it from my mouth.”

A church leader was watching, confronted Cook and tried to recover the sacred bread. Cook said she crossed the line and that’s why he brought it home with him.”She came up behind me, grabbed my wrist with her right hand, with her left hand grabbed my fingers and was trying to pry them open to get the Eucharist out of my hand,” Cook said, adding she wouldn’t immediately take her hands off him despite several requests.

Over a thin, flimsy wafer received during communion? Did you know this stuff comes with its own police force?! Well, here’s why:

Devout and orthodox followers of the Catholic Church believe communion is close to godliness. It is sacred, and an act not to be taken lightly (so shame on this dude for that… but that’s it). Nonetheless, they believe STRONGLY in a figment of the Papacy’s imagination [well, literally of Ignatius of Antioch, ironically, a student of the Apostle Paul] called “Transubstantiation,” which basically means the Eucharist wafer placed in your hand or on your tongue literally changes into the body and blood of Christ when consumed.

Hence, the headline of the story. Catchy, huh?

So, because this immature dude would rather keep the Eucharist in a plastic bag rather than eat it, the elders of this Catholic church doesn’t feel the need to teach him about a relationship with Christ, how to live with God and be led of the Holy Spirit. Instead, they want to bust him upside the back of head until he turns it over, much like cops would during a real kidnapping. Don’t believe me? Listen to the priest of the Orlando church:

“It is hurtful,” said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. “Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family.”

ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Is there any wonder why this country is so spiritually inept? This has nothing to do with the atoning work of the cross and redemption of Jesus. This is about a ritualistic brainwash tactic that creates Gestapo units out of priests and the night of the living dead out of Catholic patrons over a millimeter thin piece of bread!

No wonder folk can’t stand organized religion. There’s no organization. This is O.C.D.!

AND to add to the fun, Cook has received DEATH THREATS for holding this innocent piece of bread hostage. His life over a life that was apparently already given so this conversation could be had in the first place? Hmmm…

Carol Brinati with the Diocese of Orlando said the Catholic community was “concerned about the possible desecration of the Eucharist,” and pleaded for its safe return.

OK, Sister Melodrama. Why not call SWAT and beg for a tactical unit to storm his 400 square-foot dorm room in search for the ziploc bag? Don’t stop there. Call the Coast Guard because you never know, Florida does have a lot of water and he could have flushed it. And even if he did, the bread could probably swim to safety anyway.

One last thing, MEMO to the misguided souls in this church: JESUS SAID, “Do this in remembrance of me.” What part of this inane story do you believe was done while thinking of who Jesus is?! Jesus, people! It’s about Jesus not the doo-dads and novelties surrounding a church service. Go to church, yes. But most of those pew warmers need to go to God first!

  1. […] post info By hiscrivener Categories: Denominational Fun, Follow up, Keeping it real and On Your Wall Tags: Catholic, Communion, Eucharist, relationship with Christ, Religion Earlier this month, we met Sen. Webster Cook from the University of Central Florida. […]

  2. hiscrivener says:


    He was a fool – no one denies that. The guy did it on a dare and showed blatant disregard for the inviolable act of communion. However, let’s not think the Roman Catholic Church sits alone on a majestic hill with the light of God shining only on its stained-glass windows.

    The Eucharist, or open communion (known in other churches), is what EVERY ONE IN CHRISTENDOM does to “remember what Christ went through for all of our sins.” But then again, if I knew anything about the Catholic church, I certainly wouldn’t know the actual word means “Universal,” which implies the act of atonement on the cross wasn’t just for “you Catholics.”

    If you can’t read between snarky lines of commentary, that’s possibly my problem. However, for you to literally compare this tool swiping a host in a Ziploc bag to the holocaust and the genocide of SIX MILLION JEWS is about the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard. And to prove it, I double dog dare you to walk into a packed synagogue and explain that ridiculous doxology.

    Suffice to say, you will promptly find some rabbis with chutzpah who think you are completely full of dreck and schlep you out on your toches. So, uh Mazel tov with all that and after the beat down you receive, get back to us here at the Wall.

  3. Michael Bell says:

    It is quite apparent that no one truely knowns anything about the Catholic faith. The HOST IS after it has been blessed is what Christ wanted Catholics to do in rememberance of him. So when I here some FOOL has taken it for show and tell and placed in a plastic bag. It only shows that he does not understand what the Eucharist is. It is not some piece of bread you get a the store. The Eucharist is what we catholics do to remember what Christ went through for all of our sins. The statement about calling the coast guard and etc only show how stupid this person(s) is (are) to this sacrament. It is clear to me that this person has no idea what the Eucharist truley means to a Catholic. Do this in rememberance of me the Eucharist is not a doodad or a novality it is to Catholics the body of Christ and it will be respected and treated as such.
    This attack on the Catholic faith is no different then Hilter’s attack on Jews.

  4. Kliska says:

    I’ve been following this story as well…it highlights some of the big issues surrounding transubstantiation as opposed to remembrance, and the symbolic nature of the bread and cup in communion. I have to wonder if anyone tried to explain to the person that him not taking in a worthy manner was, from their perspective, dangerous to his own health. Instead I read how they were afraid that it would damage or tarnish Christ Himself in some way…

    Sometimes it is hard to know where to start…


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