Archive for July 5, 2008

Whoever thought this would be an ice breaker? Well, it is… so any guesses?

  1. Both can seriously rock the Roman toga look?
  2. They each have been known to say a prayer every now and then?
  3. That silver hair gives them a regal appeal with the ladies?
  4. High Google searches?

Sorry, all those are incorrect. Think Bible, as in those nice Christmas box sets you buy folk that need a lil’ more of Jesus during the holidays? Charlton Heston lent his raspy, beloved pipes to a famed narration of the Bible in the late 90s. Now, we can add the thick, convoluted accent of Joseph Ratzinger to the mix, as he wil be next to read the Bible.

And it’s a first from the Vatican, Jesus fans, according to this story from Canada’s Globe and Mail.

Evidently, with the pomp and circumstance associated with the Pope – leader of a religious movement and all – you would think someone in that Holy See would have read the Bible on TV. Alas, voice over talent was never a sought after need on a papal resume.

But hey, Mazel Tov, Papa. Maybe this post will help create a buzz for more downloads of iTunes? Good on ya’, B16.

Now, HiScrivener could easily go off an wispy tangent about Christians who gamble and take God’s faith into their own hands, but let’s save that for a dry spell, shall we?

Meet Rev. Robert Ascolese.

His parish was having financial pains, but that didn’t stop Robin Hood of New Jersey here from starting a school for the grade-school children in his parish.

Ascolese was steadfastly determined because, being a big Whitney Houston fan, he knew “the children was our future.”

Ascolese devised a Powerball lottery-type raffle that would generate $400,000 from ticket sales, of which $200,000 would automatically go to the church treasury. Ascolese purchased unsold tickets under fictitious names that ”won” each lottery from 2001 through 2005. He issued checks to the fictitious winners and cashed them. Winning ticket money was turned over to the church treasury.

Admirable? Possibly. Necessary? Probably not. Foolish? Yes! Dude, what were you thinking? Oh yeah, the kids. Well, set them aside and think about your job. You know, you read from a best-selling book for a living that talks A LOT about faith, trust in God, obedience to his word and in vogue things like that.

Why not put that collar to the test and see if God is who he said he is? I know it’s tough to fully commit every time you fill the church van with $120 in gas, but you don’t quit. God rewards the faithful and diligent. So, pay your paltry fine and use the kids as motivation in another way. Like a car wash? God knows you have enough publicity out of this stunt. Serendipity, eh?

Let’s all hold hands and sing a verse of “Down by the river.” At least before you get sent up one next time.

Evidently.

So, look out Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Lauren and the rest of you budding hopefuls on “Project: Runway”…

Here comes the FLDS ladies from the YFZ Ranch and those hot threads for the fall season.

After the mothers of the Warren Jeffs maverick Mormon compound got their children back – who were once marked ‘Property of the State of Texas’ – they figured those tablecloth dresses, worn overalls and flashback to the days of the Amish could pay big dividends on the open market.

Who can blame them? With all those high society press photos taken during their legal battles, there’s a buzz out there regarding the homegrown high-cotton blends being shilled out from the Ranch. And who knows? With Texas duds made from cowhands on the wild frontier of a Lone Star ranch, there may be an audience out there for things like that.

Maybe, the ladies of the Middle East? They need to be covered from head to toe anyway, why not do it in ‘Sunset Orange’ or ‘Dusky-hued Blue’? There’s even a Web site for this fast moving product. Step right up, or your Thanksgiving table cover could be the dress of “America’s Next Top Model.” Man, that’s hot.