I have no words… and that’s saying something. So just read this, and I’ll be back. G’ahead. I’ll wait.
What in the world qualifies this fool to write a biography on Jesus anyway? The fact he got Sharon Stone to scream ‘Oh God’ in a soft-core movie? People just don’t think. This goes back to a theory I have always held: Christians are the only group of people in the world where it is accepted and welcomed to have a true prejudice against – and speak on it (still working on the copyright here).
Other groups have civil rights, petitions, congressional recognition and laws. Christians? We get this mess!
You know, Eddie Murphy was a prophet when he said there are people that just want to take the ‘Hell Express’. In case you missed ‘Delirious’ in your pre-sanctified youth, he noted there are people that just don’t want to stand line with everybody. There is:
- The man that shot the Pope
- The whimsical buffoons that created e-mail Katrina scams
- Abortion clinic bombers (Yes, they are standing for the unborn, but killing those that have already made it is counterproductive and really stupid).
- Churches that proclaim God’s hatred for gays (Listed under ‘things not to do to witness in public’)
And let’s not forget the others that make up the customer service aisle in Hades:
- Guys who do not respect the ‘Law of Urinal Spacing’ (unofficial, but necessary)
- People who use the fast food drive-thru for a family of 11
- Idiots that put dogs and children in the back of pickup trucks and take a jaunt on the highway
- Self-absorbed movie goers that think it’s part of the fun to kick the back of my seat
- ANYONE that is so important to keep a cell phone on RING… in CHURCH
- Parents that use a Rated-R movie as an accepted babysitter… at 10:30 p.m.
- Directionally-challenged drivers that think the fast lane on the highway is the best place to consult a MAPSCO
- Non-flushers in restaurants or airports. No description needed.
Yes, this dude needs prayer in the worst way, but why can’t I pray for someone else to do that because I just don’t want to waste the breath… at least not now. IJS.