Posts Tagged ‘sex’

You would think if Abraham came down from Mount Sinai fresh from a conversation with God these days, the chat would have been a skosh different, no?

Perhaps, the angel of the Lord would have mentioned the kerfuffle on MySpace, the mysteries of big-name religious figures refusing to follow like-minded folk on Twitter, the dangers of texting while driving and for the love of God (well, himself), why is Bristol Palin still on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Why people really join churchMost likely the first modern Commandment would have something to do with privacy rights on Facebook.

Well, meet Rev. Cedric Miller of New Jersey – a pastor who believes the forbidden fruit had a QWERTY keyboard and came with status updates.

A New Jersey pastor [of Living Word Christian Fellowship] is giving his married church leaders an ultimatum: delete Facebook or resign

…“One or the other spouse is on Facebook and reconnects with an old flame,” Miller said. “It’s even gone to the point where there have been inappropriate reconnections.”

It’s interesting what the leering media finds newsworthy. Somehow, someone heard about these conditions and decided to make this “a mountaintop experience.” And this thing has come across the globe like the buzz about a certain burning bush.

So, here’s the question: Is he right?

Yes, there are many people in this world that use Facebook to reconnect with folk from back in the day or to keep in touch with people today. However, for all those who like to corral contacts for their personal ego storehouse, there are many, many more that use this web portal for hook ups with those flames that have never been put out.

Answer: Yes.

Because as we have seen with serving the Kingdom, you have to err on the side of extreme caution because if you don’t, there is certain to be a snare with your name all over it.

Ask any megachurch pastor that have been in headlines lately. Sex, philandering, getting frisky… and why? Because they have power and they can.

This pastor doesn’t have the recognition, at least he didn’t at the time of the ultimatum, but he wanted his staff to serve the Lord wholeheartedly nonetheless. If you think Pastor Miller doesn’t have to go far for proof, you’re right:

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers says 81 percent of its members have used or been faced with evidence plucked from Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and other social networking sites in divorce cases over the last five years.

About one in five adults uses Facebook for flirting, according to a 2008 report by the Pew Internet and American Life Project. And a do-it-yourself divorce site in the United Kingdom, Divorce-Online, reported late last year that the word “Facebook” was appearing in about one in five of the petitions it was handling.

Again, this site was made for online booty calls and many people, including My Fair Lady, use Facebook to speak with family across the country who are too lazy to write an e-mail and too distant to pick up a phone.

If I was in that ilk working at Living Word, I would be both offended and armed with a myriad of examples to tell this pastor what is up. However, if I was a person who hid my Facebook account from my spouse, sent clandestine status reports and was looking for that one sheep that got away, then good on the pastor for bringing this up.

Then again, it’s not guns that kill people… people kill people, right? So, it’s not Facebook that’s killing marriages… shady fools who should have never been engaged kill marriage. They just use Facebook quite a bit to do it.

I know ‘The Writing on the Wall” has carried a headline of shock value once or twice, but this is regretfully a direct quote.

I KNOW! Can you believe someone would have the unmitigated gall to utter a thought like that? Check the story from the U.K. Mail Online:

A South African pastor has provoked outrage after beginning a recent sermon with the claim that Jesus Christ was HIV-positive. Xola Skosana stunned his congregation in Cape Town’s Khayelitsha township with the bold statement, news of which then quickly spread across the country.

Pastor says Jesus had AIDS

What? Jesus was a hemophiliac too?

Keep it classy, Xola. Look, I understand the world is going political correct as some sort of etiquette class, and it seems being gay is trendy, but this is insane.

The Bible says something I think this twit just perverted:
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. (Hebrews 4:14 – 16 MSG)
You get that, dude? He was tempted with everything, but that doesn’t mean he shacked up with some guy he met at an alternative bar wearing a Village People outfit.
Here’s his explanation. Well, kinda:
Of course, there’s no scientific evidence that Jesus had the HI virus in his bloodstream. The best gift we can give to people who are HIV-positive is to help de-stigmatise Aids and create an environment where they know God is not against them, he’s not ashamed of them.’
Let me get this right. I meet a guy who is suffering from crack addiction and want to witness to him about the saving grace of Jesus Christ.
Do I start the conversation with an ice breaker like, “Did you know Jesus had powder-stained lips and stole his disciples’ TVs for a quick fix of the base out back of Pilate’s temple? After all, that’s where most of the dregs hung out for the quality scraps.”
Uh, no! So why in the world would you testify to folk dealing with this treacherous disease – some of which got through other circumstances other than the obvious – with Jesus had AIDS?!
Unless you are anointed with CSI superpowers, I would recommend shutting your pie hole and stick with the Beatitudes. Just a thought.

Dear Bishop Long, I showed my junk and blamed the devil. Love, Armor Bearer #15

Amidst the kerfuffle of Bishop Eddie Long’s escapades with his armor bearers, somehow this lovely story got lost in the mix.

Evidently, the more wide-open a door is for crap to fly through it, the more church turds sprout wings and flutter out of the belfry.

Exhibit A: This story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that discusses a former staffer who was sent a questionable picture of God’s blessing.

Tama Colson, who is described in the lawsuit as a married resident of Georgia, claims a male supervisor  showed her photographs of a male sex organ on a cellphone. In a lawsuit filed Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Atlanta,  Colson alleges  she was harassed,  demoted and later discharged from the Lithonia church after she complained.

Of course she was. You think they want someone around who accept personal text messages? No way.

If the lawsuit is accurate in the affidavit, a supervisor in the TV department decided to whip out his smartphone and show her just how stupid he was. Her response, “What the hell is your problem?” To wit, he grins and walks away.

Later, her department became subject to the New Birth TV department, she was demoted to secretary and was subsequently given her walking papers.

Yeah, that’s taking authority, eh?

No street fight, just a spiritual one will do

Don’t look now, members of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, but all those swolled muscles of Eddie Long’s won’t do him any good.

How do I know? He said so… while implying he will hide behind the puny arms and clear bifocals of his lawyers. Or, in other words – his words read in the Atlanta Journal Constitutionhe will “not be pulled into a street fight.”

Long said he is “not going to be pulled into a street fight” and that he doesn’t hate anyone. But he directed his listeners to turn to a passage in the Book of Job that read: “Those who hate you will be clothed with shame, and the tent of the wicked will be no more.”

As his devoted flock cheered, Long joked that he accidentally led them to the wrong page. “That was the Holy Ghost,” he said, flashing a smile as the sanctuary echoed with laughter.

Yeah, funny how the Holy Ghost allows those kind of clandestine threats to come out from a pulpit. Yeah, that sounds like the Holy Ghost to me. A man so divine that he would allow a preacher accused of gay rape and being an overall bad dude to proclaim, “Let the home of the wicked will be destroyed.”

As if, the wicked are those puerile boys who have collectively claimed under oath that a “Mand of Gawd” would have the unmitigated audacity to act in such a way. Yeah, that’s wicked all right.

If they are lying, then they deserve a world of destruction. But if they aren’t, and this case ends up in a room of attorneys vying for a cash grab because someone is skeered of a guilty verdict, then the only clothing of shame is going to be the next pin stripe suit Long uses to cover his muscles.

Enough of the rant. Back to the story…

So, instead of vehemently denying the charges that could pummel his family and plummet his charge, Eddie Long chooses to wax theological and avoid the issue in hopes for more dramatic applause.

Mazel Tov, brother.

Long’s sermon made no obvious references to his recent troubles. Long, however, mentioned that a church mother told him that he had to be the most “prayed for person in the world.” He said she reminded him to also pray for himself. He talked to the congregation about prayer and said: “God is listening for your sound.”

I admit. I abhor this story, not only because of the heinous charges this poses against anyone who is called according to the precepts of God. Moreover, because of the blind arrogance the defense of these charges has created.

You know, the Holy Ghost also said something else:

“Do not touch my anointed ones, And do my prophets no harm.” (1 Chronicles 16:22 NASB)

MEMO to Eddie Long: We are all his anointed ones. We all have a purpose. And we are all vessels of his Word… his prophets. I pray these charges are false for the benefit of your family, your church and the millions of believers that have supported you through the years of your ministry.

However, if you “touched” God’s anointed ones and caused his four “prophets” a lot of “harm” then a street fight is going to be least of your lawyer’s… eh, your concerns.

I’m under attack.

This was the summation of Bishop Eddie Long’s long-awaited and legally approved response from the much ballyhooed pulpit of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. As if the swolled Bishop had a kingdom resting atop Stone Mountain in Georgia, he gives yet another aged rally cry used from scandalous preachers in the past.

It’s the most ragged page out of their ruddy playbook. You see, it’s not the sin they committed; it’s the fiendish acts Satan has committed against them.

At least, that’s what they want you to believe because why else would the media, the lawsuits and the cries of a rather perturbed country come against the “Mand of Gawd?” See for yourself:

From the Washington Post story referred earlier:

“Please hear this: I have been accused. I’m under attack. I want you to know that I am not a perfect man, but this thing I’m gon’ fight,” said Long, who also preached a short sermon on surviving painful times. “I feel like David against Goliath, but I’ve got five rocks, and I haven’t thrown one yet,” the bishop said to roaring applause as he dropped his microphone on the pulpit with a thud, took his wife Vanessa’s hand and left the stage.

The story forgot to mention the rose petals thrown at his feet, the serfdom bowing at his presence and the trumpets saluting his retreat in the sunset as well.

Leave the pomp and circumstance aside, it doesn’t take away the fact that this is yet another alleged and shamed preacher who used the power of God given to him for the service of the Lord’s kingdom to use for his own megalomaniacal purposes.

There is another serious problem:

Long never directly said he is innocent, but he made clear that he would not leave New Birth, and church leaders vowed to stick by him. “We stand behind our pastor. And there is a period behind that,” church elder Darius Wise said.

We are but sheep, right? And sheep are known for one other thing, besides providing some sweet sweaters… they love the taste of Kool-Aid. Regardless of the flavor, it all tastes the same. Whatever the Mand of Gawd says it tastes like, that’s the winner.

Eddie Long vows to fight the drama

Bishop Eddie Long, left, embraces a friend Sunday at his Georgia megachurch. 'I am not a perfect man. But this thing I'm going to fight," he said.

The man never avowed his innocence and allegiance for the Lord, only that he will fight for his own kingdom. Doesn’t he realize there is more at stake than the precious TV rights provided him by TBN and Daystar?

He has a family, a congregation, a gaggle of supporters… and oh yeah, the lives of four young men who believe Bishop Eddie Long used his authority in the Gospel to rape them.

That leaves quite the scar on one’s spiritual upbringing, you know. And there’s the tragedy with the megachurch these days.

They are not led by God, just for him.

Man, full of ruddy clay, riddled with angst and heaping with drama run these edifices… and are surrounded by a heaping troupe of Yes men.

Who will tell these dolts, “No.” If they value their job, not a soul. And whose to say what God is saying to these egomaniacs. Not all leaders of huge churches have this personality, but we have seen many that do… and they all follow the same playbook when confronted with scandal.

What’s the harm in taking a sabbatical to properly deal with this mess? Go away, get better and get beyond this drama. Think that will happen… uh, no.

And why? There is no competition for his throne. He has a legion of lawyers to protect him if there is an overtaker among the peons. And you waited a week to deliver your “David and Goliath” speech (of which the lawyers have used in statements as well).

Shoot, I was expecting “Unleash hell” sans the Maximus brutality. “Taking  authority” is his fabled tagline after all. Although I think the dude just needs to take a much needed vacation.

Yet, there he goes, off in his Bentley and a sack of five stones at his leisure. Hope you and your legal team have good aim, Bishop Long. Because if you miss, there are more than 25,000 people who will fall with you.