Posts Tagged ‘education’

This is a story with the happiest ending of all.

Once upon a time there was a man named Jesus who came to this jacked-up place to sacrifice his life for mankind.

You see, his Daddy determined a perfect sacrifice is what was necessary to redeem the lives of the rest of us. So, there he was. Resting on the cross, burdened with the sins of every nasty person on earth, asked by the masses, “How much do you love us?”

And he opened his arms t…h…i…s much… and he died.

It was a gift to all of us, but like with any coupon, you have to redeem it in order to reap the rewards. You know, that implies a choice. As in, a choice all of us have to make in order to experience what happened those more than 2,000 years ago.

Fast forward to today and we meet a boy named Barack who completely lied through his grape Kool-Aid stained lips and pearly whites to every child of God he met in order to win their vote. He told them he would go to church for a vote. And that he would talk about Jesus for a vote.

But… not so much. Just ask him, like this chic did.

Seriously. Anyone catch that dazzling epiphany?

I am a Christian by choice,” Obama began, standing beneath a blazing sun, when asked why he is a Christian. “I came to my Christian faith later in life, and it was because the precepts of Jesus Christ spoke to me in terms of the kind of life that I would want to lead,” Obama said.

“Being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. Treating others as they would treat me. And I think also understanding that, you know, that Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility that we all have to have as human beings.”

Man, that’s deep. He may be calling on Jesus, but I call B.S.

Doesn’t he understand this didn’t fool a soul?! He is a Christian… wait for it… by choice. Oh. Oh. Wait. One other thing. He is also subject to… wait for it… by the forces of gravity.

Yes, sports fans. As much as Barack Obama is compared to the Messiah, he really can’t walk on water, doesn’t encounter stigmata or get offended when folk cuss using his name. Yet when confronted by a mild-mannered victims of his romancing swoons of deceit regarding his faith, he issues two half-baked verses and connected them to some universal thought that would make Carlton Pearson shout for joy.

“This is a country that is still predominantly Christian, but we have Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, agnostics, Buddhists” and others, he said, adding that “their own path to grace is one that we have to revere and respect as much as our own, and that is part of what makes this country what it is.

Country? Yes. Kingdom of God… you know, heaven? No way.

Someone needs to get a memo to our betrothed president and let him know that Jesus Christ is not a politician. In fact, he could care less. So while Barack Obama is wailing on and on about how folk in this country are singing Kumbaya, he still isn’t any closer to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ unless he stops farting around and gets real.

Choose that… then you’re a Christian. And not one second sooner. That’s no story, Mr. President. That’s real life. Brother.

By the looks of national TV ratings, not many people have been watching the “Miss USA” pageant for the past… decade.

And with the exception of Carrie Prejean and her Christian eh, purchased endowments, no one on earth could name the last nine Miss USAs, save Donald Trump. And he could only do it with his wife’s help.

Enter newly crowned Miss USA 2010 Rima Fakih. Come on down! You’re the contestant on “Something is just not right.”

Sure, she's cute... but look behind her mosque.

According to ABC News (and the aforementioned link… with video), the triumphant walk for the new Miss USA took her straight into controversy as a Muslim woman who flaunts her beauty, and who once flaunted it so well she won a stripper contest.

Shortly after the release of pictures showing Fakih cradling a dozen roses across her strapless white dress while balancing a shimmering tiara on her head, came photos of Fakih in red short shorts, a tiny tank top and towering stilettos while balancing against a pole.

Fakih won the “Stripper 101″ contest which was sponsored by a Detroit radio show Mojo in the Morning in 2007.

Well, good times. Had this mess came out about Prejean before the gay marriage hullabaloo, she would have been lampooned. But then again, her mouth and insatiable appetite deserved that ire anyway.

But here is this nice little Muslim girl, and because we can’t hate on any other religion sans those associated Jesus Christ, this ‘private dancer’ gets a pass for earning a quick buck.

Keep it classy, America.

However, since Christians aren’t allowed to espouse any views against this flashdance, then what about her homies in Hezbollah? According to FOX News, meh?

In an interview Tuesday with Lebanese television, Hezbollah official Hassan Fadlallah reportedly had few glowing words to describe Fakih, who became the first Muslim American on Sunday to secure the crown. “The criteria through which we evaluate women are different from those of the west,” Fadlallah told the television station, AFP reported.

In other words, “We haven’t seen the tape yet, but when we do, her USO tour will be interesting.”

Of course, even comparing her with Hezbollah, the hub for terrorism is a farce… and a conservative one at that. Thanks CNN:

“Absolutely not,” Fakih told CNN’s Octavia Nasr. “That is a stereotype and a prejudiced statement made by only one reporter who had made that title before I was crowned Miss USA.” The blogger’s accusation “was completely made up out of her own prejudiced mind,” she said.

So, back to the stripping.

Anyone outraged by this? Not so much because only the people who work for Donald Trump and the families of contestants seem to watch this mess any longer.

However, it is alarming how many people aren’t talking about this. Typically, that number directly reflects the many people who were lighting their torches and arming themselves with pitchforks over what we believed was a kind-hearted Christian speaking her mind and faith.

Can anyone say, “Double standard.”

What Fakih is no more worse than half the women who begin as drunken troglodytes during Spring Break and end up as fodder for “Girls Gone Wild” or something they will surely regret when they reach… sobriety.

Heck, she was wearing more clothes in the video than on stage during the swim suit competition. The premise is the flagrant double standard.

The winners of this competition used to be positioned for role model-hood. Entertaining the masses while showing girls around the world how to be a dignified woman with purpose and passion.

Instead, with the inclusion of silicon valley (no, not the tech place in California) and scruples so elastic, I could slingshot a canoe with them, the Miss USA contest is no more than a contest for 15 minutes and an opportunity to get lots of swag in the name of yourself.

Is that the Arab-American way? Nah, but she’s a step in the right direction. Unfortunately.

I have often uttered a phrase of resolution, and typically it is directed at apathetic Christ followers (or those who say they are… but meh?) for their lack of commitment:

Get off your blessed assurance and do something!

Jesus in an orange

Jesus? Orange you glad something is being done?

How can you expect God to work through you if he can’t get to you? (MEMO to all pastors: You may use that free of charge, but uh, source a brother).

Many Christians are faced with the dilemma on a frequent basis.

It’s no secret most folk walk their walk in their pastor’s shoes. Regardless of the size of his feet, at least he is doing the walking… and that is quite okay for those lethargic slugs.

Now, that pandemic is being addressed through the “Orange Movement.” Yeah, the “Orange” movement:

At a time when an estimated two-thirds or more of the younger generation is walking from the Christian faith after high school, churches (yellow for light) and families (red for heart) are realizing the need to become true partners.

Oh, I see. The red… and the yellow… carry the one… get orange… yeah, moving on:

Todd Clark, founding pastor of Discovery Church in Simi Valley, Calif., contends the Orange philosophy combats what he calls “surrogate faith.” Just as a surrogate mother carries a child that is not her own but for someone else, there are many Christians who are carrying a faith that is not their own, Clark explained at The Orange Conference.

Oh, testify my brother! Ain’t that the truth? How many Christ followers end up broke, busted and disgusted because their faith level can’t exceed John 3:16? And that is because they watch a lot of football?

There is something to this color coding of faith. We are to be the light of the world, and we are washed by the blood of the lamb. But what happens when they can’t get through us to see Jesus?

We have to meet them in the middle. And trust me, if you suck as a witness for Christ, then they will blow right by you who should be all orange and miss the scarlet red love of Jesus.

Pastor Clark is on to something, Wall Watchers. Something we should all mind closely.

“They (parents) want us to do baptism to them (children) and not with them; they want us to basically program out the child’s life to where the church is responsible for their faith rather than the parent and that way the parent never has to go to God. They can get everything through their favorite book,” Clark lamented.

However, what happens to that lazy Christian when that lukewarm pablum book is out of reach? How does this person walk on the water when he hasn’t spent time in the Bible long enough to know how to swim? How can a child become a child of God when the only father he knows doesn’t introduce him to the father in heaven he should know?

Evidently, the answer is somewhere between red and yellow.

Jesus. In Orange.

Orange Jesus is watching you.

Home and church are two crucial links to someone’s walk with Christ. And if the homelife is rocky, church isn’t going to be a picnic.

Also, is church folk act like – well, you know – church folk, then meditation with God at home is going to be about as long as Wilt Chamberlain’s… well, his mama’s… pinkie.

Very few things in life are really as they same, but most of can rely on the colors of the rainbow. The prism of which we use to look at life is about as real Jesus wants us to be.

Providing we are not color blind or so completely desensitized from the light of God that all we see is black, then we should understand what it takes to be effective for Christ.

We are far from perfect, so being red is obviously out. And unless you represent the entire body of Christ (and by the way most of you drive… and still have an Ichthus on the ride, you do not), then I would suggest avoid yellow and working out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Because, quite honestly, as long as you are sitting on the couch praying and wishing for more Christians to do your jober, something, the only thing you will be working is my last nerve.

Lord, hear my orange prayer.

BP's huge oil spill is about to hit land across the entire Gulf of Mexico

Something wicked this way comes

The Gulf of Mexico is murky, toxic and is literally a sea of despair. The video is harrowing. The threat to the environment, ecosystem and the seafood industry is alarming.

And yet, the silence from the Church on this travesty is deafening!

Why?

Aren’t we to be stewards over this planet? Do we not have dominion over the fish of the sea? Should we not protect the gifts God Almighty has bestowed upon us?

Then why does it seem the Church could care less about the tragic state of affairs in the Gulf of Mexico? As long as it doesn’t affect church attendance on Sunday, you’re cool?

This is far from a “liberal rant,” but rather as a child of God disgusted by his siblings when someone has just whizzed all over the gift Daddy bought me. Make no mistake – that is precisely what BP is doing as long as that spicket can’t get corked 30,000 leagues under the sea.

If you need any tug at your heart, consider these numbers, thanks to Newsweek:

  • 400 different species are being threatened by the oil
  • 7,000 square miles of federal fishing area has been closed because of the spill
  • $14 billion is the price tag of BP’s oil spill… so far
  • 3.5 million gallons of crude oil has been spilled in the Gulf. Helllloooo Exxon Valdez.

And none of that creates a prayer group, a vocal televangelist or even a reporter knocking on the door of any random pastor? Stunning.

An ichthus, a fish for Christ can swim in this oil and make a difference

It's time for us to swim upstream and make a difference

If anyone should be advocating the newly formed “Gulf Aid,” it should be the Body of Christ. We should be first in line to donate resources, offer time and pray for the near $1.6 billion in economy that has stopped to a grinding halt due to this mess. No deep horizons for those small business owners.

Seafood trade – done. Gulf restoration – back to the drawing board. Safety for the ecosystem – not a chance.

Hey, Church? Want a mission field? How’s the gulf sound right about now? You could send a team of volunteers to serve in the Gulf, do your part and help restore a broke, busted and disgusted economic system down there.

Listen, pastor of the Generic Church Assembly. I understand you are all bunched up about the immigration policies in Arizona, the health careless plan of Barack Obama and whatever else your cronies are babbling about around the water cooler, but this should matter to you and your congregation.

Why? Other than the aforementioned reasons rooted in theology, did you know Earth Day was actually not created by the far leaning left, but rather has a little to do with some right standing Pentecostal folks? In other words, God cares about this place so we should too!

Just think… five years after the worst natural disaster leveled the Gulf; the worst environmental disaster is about to topple that distinction. Meanwhile, can’t we at least pray for God’s hand to bring about healing and restoration here?

I challenge you to challenge your pastor about this issue. Folks, we need to pray. We need to take that dominion out for a spin and see what it can do.

And if that’s not enough, we need to do something. At least, that’s what the world would not expect.

I would love to disappoint them. Namely in this case.

P.S. If you know anyone in your church that was chanting, “Drill Baby Drill” during the last election. I would recommend a suggestion for you to said tool, “Go Clean Baby Clean.”

Once again, HiScrivener’s “Legal Prejudice” theory strikes gold with yet another example of how no one gives a flip about offending the Body of Christ. Shoot, stray dogs get more respect and advocacy than Christians do these days.

Jesus Christ in his own talk show on South Park

WWJI? "Who Would Jesus Interview?!"

Exhibit A: The crack pipe smoking crew at Comedy Central… and I used to love this channel, so this pains me.

A couple of weeks ago, the makers of South Park (never seen an episode; don’t care to do so) created quite a kerfuffle when they depicted a search for the Prophet Muhammad. As you can imagine, the Nation of Islam were shouting “Allahu Akbar” to anyone with a fancy title at the network.

According to the New York Times, South Park received a “death prediction” because it’s a huge no-no to have Muhammad on anything except Muslim approved propagandaer, materials.

Now, these are guys on South Park that have very little scruples. Bashing religion is open season over there, but this “prediction” got up their dander.

“After we delivered the show, and prior to broadcast, Comedy Central placed numerous additional audio bleeps throughout the episode,” the message said. It added that the network was not allowing the episode to be streamed on the Web site, where “South Park” shows generally appear after they are broadcast on Comedy Central.

Muhammad wasn’t removed, but his likeness was. A small victory… and so, they have found someone bigger to pick on at the repugnant network. Jesus Christ. In fact, not just for an insulting cameo appearance, but an entire near-sacrilegious show.

According to the Huffington Post, we see Comedy Central is far from done and ostracizing the Body of Christ:

Comedy Central said Thursday that it has a cartoon series about Jesus Christ in the works. “JC” is one of 23 potential series the network said it has in development. It depicts Christ as a “regular guy” who moves to New York to “escape his father’s enormous shadow.”

Although “JC” has been a reoccurring theme in South Park, the fun and yuks will continue if this gets approved as ‘God’ is presented as an apathetic man who would rather play video games than listen to his son talk about his new life. Yeah, because that’s friggin’ hilarious!

And once again, the ONLY God-fearing individual who is saying anything is William Donahue, president of Catholic League for Civil and Religious Rights. (And before you complain about what he is – or is not – saying about the outrageous travesty inside the Catholic Church… have you spoke out against this mess. No? Then, moving on…)

“It’s not certain what is more despicable: the nonstop Christian bashing featured on the network, or Comedy Central’s decision to censor all depictions of Muhammad,” he said in the aforementioned link.

Now while the overreaction of death threats is way out of line and nowhere near indicative of what true Islam resembles, I understand the angst and have been waiting… and waiting… and waiting for these high-powered TBN preachers to do something about this. Alas, nothing has happened unless Jan and Paul Crouch are planning on a call drive to Comedy Central in the near future.

No? Moving on again…

So, in an effort to prevent the presumed sandstorm of Christian acrimony, we have this tepid explanation from Comedy Central:

“In general, comedy in its purest form always makes some people uncomfortable,” said Comedy Central head of original programming Kent Alterman.

I get it: The real stuff is always the funny stuff. But there is a line that is not so blurred to some of us who actually rever Christ, holmes.

Comedy Central has crossed that ubiquitous line and the Body of Christ has yet to defend it. Muslims fight for their deity. Scientologists fight each other for theirs. Christians? We just whisper after church at Luby’s and “pray for people to do it for us.”

Here goes nothing: two addresses and please, I’m not asking for chain letters, but forward this on to folk and DO SOMETHING!

  • Tony Fox, corporate communications executive vice president of Comedy Central, can be reached at (212) 767-8746 or tony.fox@comedycentral.com.
  • Doug Herzog, president of Comedy Central, can be reached at (310) 407-4790 or doug.herzog@comedycentral.com.

And when you reply, be sure to let them both know that while the network calls this ballyhoo “comedy”, we – as a united body of believers – will work to make you and your sponsors uncomfortable.

Anyone with me? God, I pray so.