Posts Tagged ‘alpha phi alpha’

quetzalcoatl

Coming Nov. 13, 2009... I mean, 2012.

Later this month, you know in 2009, a blockbuster is going to hit global screens – 2012.

John Cusack is going to save the world from the “Q Dog” (much to the chagrin of my Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc. ties) and the fact that it’s just a cheap marketing ploy three years early shouldn’t matter. I mean, it doesn’t to Hollywood folk.

However, one organization all this apocalyptic kerfuffle is bothering is NASA. Just ask one of their astrophysicists, David Morrison:

“Calendars, whether contemporary or ancient, cannot predict the future of our planet or warn of things to happen on a specific date such as 2012. I note that my desk calendar ends much sooner, on Dec. 31, 2009, but I do not interpret this as a prediction of Armageddon. It is just the beginning of a new year.”

Can we please stop with the end times theories? The Bible declares it; I believe it; and I wish that would settle it:

Our Lord Jesus told us that when he comes, we won’t go up to meet him ahead of his followers who have already died. With a loud command and with the shout of the chief angel and a blast of God’s trumpet, the Lord will return from heaven. Then those who had faith in Christ before they died will be raised to life. Next, all of us who are still alive will be taken up into the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the sky. From that time on we will all be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17)

I mean, if anyone wishes this mess would stop is the Olympics. After all, in 2012, the Spice Girls are performing! Isn’t that enough of a reason for the half-dog, half-lizard to hold off for a few months?!

Coming to earth - in a theatre near you

Coming to earth - in a theatre near you

Last year, you may remember the fair warning to have your pets spayed or neutered in commemoration of the Mayan triune barnyard animal, Quetzalcoatl, who is a third snake, third bird and with some man parts sprinkled in there somewhere.

Brief history lesson: The Mayans had this quirky calendar back in 10 B.C. that ends December 21, 2012. I don’t know why?!

Maybe someone back then knew the economy would blow, the GOP couldn’t filibuster in Congress and “America’s Got Talent” would be on for another season. Woof!

Anywhoo, it seems 2012 is so far away, so the Q-Dog (and please know, being a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, Inc., that pains me to write :)) has decided to make a special guest appearance to our fare burgh.

And darn nice of him too considering he is going to kill us all in a few years for his “Age of Transition.”

In case you haven’t been to the movies lately, it seems Quetzalcoatl’s transition will slither a few years early, just in time to come to a theater near you. So, starring as bird-snake-guy would be John Cusack?!

Okay, a few issues with that thrilling score and fireball-laden preview:

1. Mankind’s earliest civilization was indeed not the Mayans, which neared due north of Anno Domini line. That distinction has historically gone to the Sumer, which hailed from the Fertile Cresent near that Garden of Eden thingy. Oh, and that more than 9,000 years before for those doing the math at home.

2. The preview – I presume the Q Dog’s warning to us all – speaks of this year. And of course, O Cristo Rendentor (the noted Jesus statue in Brazil) is the first sacrosanct thing to get pummeled in the wake of the Mayan bird-snake-guy. Figures.

3. The Vatican is second on the dog doo list. Classy. Haven’t seen a synagogue or a mosque yet, but eh, I’m sure that’s just a co-winky-dink.

4. A large isthmus is hurled in the ocean. Yeah, I think hydroelectricity may save California’s energy crisis too. [Idea credited to Al Gore or somesuch. Carry on.]

5. We are asked to “find out the truth.” Well, unless I see 2012 in my Bible somewhere, I don’t think I’m going to find it helping your Web traffic and marketing efforts. Oh, sorry, that’s what you wanted me to do… drat.

Lastly, I would like to opine about this teaser that has been airing in theatres for about a year-and-a-half, which means the Q Dog is really trying to us non-Mayans’ attention.

So, we have this monk running for the hills to ring a bell. Who will hear that tribal gong? Well, don’t worry about that right now.

What’s important is there is a flood a’coming. Question is, says who? Anyone in production… er, ancient Maya heard of Noah?

I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life (Genesis 9:14 NIV)

If this is the case, then why is that monsoon hanging ten over the Himalayas?!

Answer: That’s Hollywood.

However, it also preying on the lost and the scared. People are apocalyptic by nature. Those who have no hope stored up for heaven think hell is just a rain drop away. And they will look anywhere for a sign of impending doom, from eerie books of faith to ancient civilization to astrologers’ conferences discussing the coming of “what’s his name”.

It’s called faith, and we need to use it – not only to believe Jesus is coming back when he wants, but also to use and tell others of that glorious day.

Regardless if you are Dispensationalist Premillennialists, A-mills, Post-mills or even Historic Mills… it doesn’t erase the Bible… and I don’t need a movie for this headline:

Our Lord Jesus told us that when he comes, we won’t go up to meet him ahead of his followers who have already died. With a loud command and with the shout of the chief angel and a blast of God’s trumpet, the Lord will return from heaven. Then those who had faith in Christ before they died will be raised to life. Next, all of us who are still alive will be taken up into the clouds together with them to meet the Lord in the sky. From that time on we will all be with the Lord forever. (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17)

It’s going to happen, and whether you believe in Jesus or not, one thing I can tell you is there is no bird-snake-dude named Quetzalcotal coming to “transition” you into anything but a movie ticket, a bag of popcorn and about two hours of sweet thrills.

No one can say 2012 is doomsday or the Apocalypse, but I would rather wait upon the sound of a trump as validated through more than 2,000 of proven history than a mythological being that no one has ever documented in reality.

Anyone care to search for that truth? Just read a Bible… or I’m sure you can go to Blockbuster. I think there should be some copies of that Mel Gibson flick to rent. You know, if you like that sort of thing.

There is a new movie in a theater near you based on a book by Bishop T.D. Jakes, “Not Easily Broken.”

Have you read the book? No? Here’s HiScrivener’s synopsis:

not-easily-brokenThere’s this L.A. preacher named Albert Hall (played stoically and remarkably by Jakes), and warming his pews is a lovely couple, Dave (played by Morris Chestnut, Ricky from the iconic “Boyz N The Hood”) and Clarice (played by Taraji P. Henson, Whitney Rome from “Boston Legal”).

The two lovebirds in public are rapidly drifting apart in private, and it all started with a tragic car wreck that ruined Dave’s hopeful shot at a baseball career.

Of course, it doesn’t help that his wife is oblivious to his feelings, not at all interested in having a baby and has a mother (played by Jenifer Lewis, who used to crack me up as Aunt Helen in “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”) who is an emasculating wench who likes her love served up cold and bitter. Vicious!

So, in the spirit of dual-overtone compensation (both for the game and the child), Dave coaches little league baseball and hangs out with his two “bros”, the ubiquitous and overrated casanova (played by Eddie Cibrian, known as the great Jimmy Doherty on “Third Watch”) and the generic vociferous and droll second banana (played by Kevin Hart, known as the host of BET’s “One Night Stand”).

And of course, Dave is the habitual yet flimflam character who waxes philanthropic by mentoring an ex-con and harmonic by befriending… [cue horror music]… the white, single mother.

Plot plays out the way you think: Mom and wifey discover the error of their misguided ways, Hubby has a “Come to Jesus” meeting and looks at himself in the mirror (without his shirt nonetheless) and the boys chill the freak out and become the friends they should. Happily Ever After. The End.

Now, while there are obviously some redemptive messages and a universal theme that would make Jesus proud, Dave’s wife and mother-in-law are so over the top. I mean, it’s vexatious. Almost like they are both Lorena Bobbitt eagerly suiting Dave up for a good night’s sleep. Tense.

not-easily-broken-movieWhat’s refreshing is the relationship between Dave and “the white girl” is wholesome and not some surriptious means to assuage white guilt, which can be seen on oh, more than a thousand movies. News Flash: Some of us actually can and do get along! At least that is what I learned in a certain fraternity espousing brotherhood. Anywhoo…

The movie has an adept cast who can weave a verbal tapestry of comic relief, dramatic nuance and thought-provoking dialogue… if only they were given a chance throughout the entire film, which (forgive the pun) has a script that seems “broken”.

Yet, through it all, you understand needing open communication, having a tight circle of friends, maintaining introspective honesty with self and God, allowing transparency in a godly marriage and throughout it all, realizing why dogmatic truths work in a relationship. No condemnatory finger pointing, just a fleeting glance of what you can have, if only you believe in God enough to try.

black-churchWithout going into heavy details, I know from whence I speak when I say Shirley Caesar – yeah, Gospel icon and self-espoused “Diva for God” – is one horrendous excuse for how a Christian should act. And almost shameful to the Black Church (No, this isn’t a double standard. Yes, there is a difference).

Despite what I know (and have experienced first-hand), check this story about a sermon she opened in her Mount Calvary Word of Faith church entitled, “God Vindicated the Black Folk.”

“Too long we’ve been at the bottom of the totem pole, but he has vindicated us, hallelujah,” she cried. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t have nothing to put my head down for, praise God. Because when I look toward Washington, D.C., we got a new family coming in. We got a new family coming in. And you know what? They look like us. Amen, amen. They look like us.

Look here, Doc (with your uber-fake and completely honorary Ph.D.), a few notes for your high holy clarification:

  1. God “vindicated” us the moment this tall Amish-looking dude looking all presidential stood up and discussed his four score years in under four minutes. It’s egregious and shameful it took reiteration 100 years later from Dr. King and the giants of the civil rights movement.
  2. God allows man the ability to choose, such as the men who chose to tell Texas slaves more than two years later about that very speech. (For the record, any fool who openly advocates Juneteenth is embracing a generation of people just being duped. Good on ya!).
  3. Man’s unadulterated and abysmal choices have caused more pain upon generations of mankind than any war, any plague, anything. Choices don’t require vindication. They demand a reckoning.
  4. Black folk TODAY weren’t vindicated. No one in my clique, fraternity or family felt that reckoning and shattering of stereotypes, but no vindication. That word implies guilt and 90 percent of this country’s white folk (because let’s be honest, that’s who this bigoted broad is targeting with her vitriol) had nothing to do with the atrocity of slavery 400 years ago.

Sunday is indeed the most segregated day of the week, and prejudicial fools like Caesar only prove (and enhance) Dr. King’s – and yours truly – argument. She could care less about the anybody-not-black-folk who adore her music, which is shameful considering who she represents.

obama-nothing-better2She is more focused on the hollow, half-baked promises of Barack Obama, than the grace-filled truth in the Word of God at this moment.

He is our (yes, even for those of you who can’t stand his policies or his skin tone) president and we should pray for him like crazy. But to extol him as the banner of righteousness over years of oppression is lunacy. It is a benchmark of how far this country has came… not just you, Shirley Caesar.

Obviously, people in this position need it… case in point, the dude packing his boxes now.

If you are a black pastor, and are old enough to remember – or worse, lived through – the Civil Rights Movement, by all means celebrate! BUT, know this moment is not just for you. Barack Obama was voted in by 54 percent of this country. In other words, not just “black folk.” Much to your collective dismay, white folk, brown folk, red folk and even yellow folk were sprinkled on your political salad that you are attempting to toss.

If I was old enough to have marched, I would dip my corns in gold and show them off to the world. But since I am attached to it only by history books and a few divine personal encounters, I can only pontificate here. Much like everyone else black, white or Neapolitan who wasn’t there as well. What’s interesting is all the Hispanics and Whites that marched as well. What Dr. King espoused was peace – a sacred principle devoid of color or creed. It was meant for black folk, but it impacted us all.

The “us all” is crucial to this argument considering Barack Obama is half-white. So, did God only vindicate half of his family. That’s kind of rude considering Obama is the strident vindicator, don’t you think?

MEMO to Shirley Caesar: You’re an idiot. Consider you have a global audience and although in your world, it’s black like your coffee… THE world is not. It’s more like… well, Obama. A melting pot of religion, race, creed and culture. Which reminds me of something:

If God is in the business of vindicating “the black folk,” what in the hell is he waiting for when it comes to the Native Americans? Iron Eyes Cody ran out of tears eons ago waiting for that. You old twit.

pc-for-school-languageStill Greek to me, more good news coming out of a college near you, according to the AP…

Despite the law suits, empty threats from the ACLU and the rising popularity of optional hazing in universities, Christian fraternities are becoming the rage on campuses across America. Nice.

Lambda Sigma Phi is part of a wave of Christian fraternities and sororities that has gained a foothold on U.S. college campuses, sometimes despite the wishes of school administrators. Members get pumped up about prayer, Bible study and service projects, passions they say campus officials should and often do embrace as fresh amid a Greek culture typically seen as centered on hazing, keg parties and little else.

Although I have my own “too cold” Greek affiliation, which is chock full of its own famous Christians (including one who had a well-known dream), this would have been a real pleasure to be a part of rushing. What all started with Beta Upsilon Chi, is now a national trend. And it’s all about Jesus!

Whether this is a response to the tumultuous trend of kids dying while hazing or simply an outward expression of an inner faith on campus, Christian fraternities are indeed making a difference in the student body.

Oh sure, they may not have the blowout keggers and all-night barf fests, but there’s always time for Sunday night stay-ins and ending the Bible study just in time to get a good seat for the game where half you will get arrested and the other half will get their cars towed.

Life at Animal House. Makes you wanna shout!