Televangelist building on the backs of his staff

Times are tough these days. National unemployment is reaching 10 percent. And the dreary hand of the economy has touched the Church as well.

Neighborhood congregations can’t give like they used to do, and even megachurches are feeling a pinch in their linen and crushed velvet pockets.

Why? Because the Holy Spirit crashes there, I guess.

But, thank Gawd, we have stories like that of David Cerullo and his trifling behind to let us know that just when you think the Church is uniting, we should tap on those brakes before we run our collective car through a stained-glass window.

At a time when Inspiration Networks has been cutting jobs, freezing wages and even adjusting the office thermostat to save money, the chief executive of the Charlotte-area broadcaster has invested about $4 million in a lakefront home under construction in South Carolina.

So, let me get this correct: More than half of Cerullo’s staff was sent packing without a severence check, yet, this dude still has enough cash flow to build – as the story reads – “one of the priciest homes in Western S.C.” Stay Classy, David.

It seems this false profit is one of – if not, the – highest paid evangelist in the world making a cool $1.5 million annually. You know, because God wants to “provide,” right?

What’s the use, dude? Really?

David Cerullo is one of the reasons the unemployment rate is through the roof, and yet, he is trolling Home Depot to lay Italian tile in his kitchen. And if that’s not bad enough, get this spin control:

A network spokesman did not respond last week to repeated calls and e-mails requesting comment about the new house. In a March interview, Cerullo defended his salary and said he’s turned down recommendations that he be paid more. He said that appeals to donors are based on the Bible, and 80 cents of every dollar donated is spent to spread the Gospel.

A couple of things about that retort, slick:

1. Who in the world would want to pay a evangelist more than that? What board of yes men… er, advisors would agree you are doing such a kick butt job that you need more cash when so many folk around you have so very little?!
2. So, 80 cents of every dollar is spent to spread the Gospel. Technically, sure you can sleep well on that drivel. But um, do you mean your fancy, shmancy jet? That’s helping the spread. What about your tailor-made suits? Well, a brother has to look good spreading it. And, then there’s the staff you fired (yeah, I keep going back to that one). Them unemployed folks begging God for answers means you have success stories. Sounds like ministry to me. (sigh).

Yeah, that’s spreading it thick, all right.

Who is this dude? A preacher or Donald Trump?

Wall Watchers, do frauds like this really deserve tax-exempt status? Then why not more of the real people in the Church speak out for those – namely those without a gig thanks to Dimwit Cerullo – who can’t?! Where are we?

Okay, so here’s your challenge… do something for those who can’t do for themselves.

Here’s the link for David’s media folk. Use it.

And then, there’s the only person in America who may be able to put a stop to this madness, Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa).

A while back, we posted on the Wall about Grassley’s televangelist witch hunt. Now while some of it is fishy and he is one ill-tempered curmudgeon, at least he is doing something.

If a preacher earns it in the for-profit arena, great. If he earns it in a non-profit arena, isn’t that an oxymoron?!

Here’s his link for some contact. Let him know what you think about the travesty going on in South Carolina. And if you can’t tell him your educated opinion, at the very least, read to the man:

Jesus said, “How difficult it will be for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!” His disciples were astonished, as many in the “prosperity” movement should be. So Jesus went on to raise their astonishment even higher by saying, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.” They respond in disbelief: “Then who can be saved?” Jesus says, “With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:23-27).

Now, before you begin scribing your pontification about how God wants us blessed… listen to this. That parable wasn’t just speaking about the money in this cat’s 401K or savings account. It was about the attitude of his heart. Money came first. Greed came first. Not God, nor his people.

Same goes for this pulpit pimp who is lounging while those he let go are languishing.

And believe me, with that kind of jackleg pimped-out attitude, it’s going to be very difficult to get into the kingdom of God. Now, spread that, David.

Maybe Paula White doesn’t need that government cheese after all

So, yesterday was an excruciating day – hot, stressed and full of angst.

I’m at work and get in what seems to be a weekly exploration by this one brother-in-the-making about “Why does God allow this?” You know, I’m planting seeds and God is blessing. Avoiding the obvious potholes and reeling in a big fish.

And then, without reservation or concern for Christianity, the most terrible thing happened – one of the frauds known for televangelism run-a-muck, promoting and prostituting stereotypes, and evenhandedly keeping Mary Kay consultants in business rears her Medusa-like head.

No, that's not an epiphany from God. It is actually an idea she had for another cash-grab.

That’s right, kids. Paula White is back.

Fresh off the road from her world tour at “life coaching” (how’s that working for you, anyway), comes the opportunistic Paula to kick the dust of her ex-hubby’s bankrupt and destitute church, Without Wall-ets.

One week after her ex-husband resigned as senior pastor of Without Walls International Church, Paula White plans to take the pulpit Sunday as the church’s new leader, the Whites said in separate interviews late Friday. White, who held her first staff meeting Friday and spent time looking for a place to live, said she will officially take the reins when she preaches at its two morning worship services. The services will also honor Bishop Randy White, who founded the church with her 18 years ago.

Now, a few other Bricks on the Wall have opined wonderfully about this travesty, but here’s my two cents – spend them wisely.

1. “One week after” - The body wasn’t even cold, and there she is, ready to propagate living in a trailer park squandering gub’mint cheese to make it to where she is today. Keep it classy, Paula.
2. She is going to lead… a church – Don’t you have to have some sort of pastoral calling to do something like that? I know she isn’t that familiar with the Bible. Sorry, not that familiar with properly applying the Bible. Nonetheless, pastoring is much different than life coaching. You have to you know, love the people… not just look for an opportunity to fleece the sheep and make a sweet Kashmir sweater for the trying winter months in frigid Florida.
3. Can anyone say career change? This is a woman who decided after her marriage and all that Jesus stuff didn’t work out, she would hit the talk show circuit and leave TBN in the dust. Sure, a few of the mainstream folks were interested in her drivel, but when they realized her act, she was sent packing. Heck, even Tyra Banks kicked her pimped-out self to the curb! And now, suddenly, she has a heart for her nightclub… er, church once again. That’s Paula White if you need her.

“Did I see it coming? … I can say that Without Walls has never been out of my heart or my being, and I’ve never been out of theirs,” she said. “But I have stopped trying to figure out sovereignty and destiny.”

Well, of course she has stopped. She was doing it on her own, and realized she ain’t that bright!

He who trust in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like a green leaf (Proverbs 11:28 NIV).

You know, when a notable person in – or despite – the Church makes a fall, it really makes a thud, huh?

And now, she went back to the only thing she has going for her in life (cough… to pay for all that Botox… cough). A bankrupt church full of innocent, mindless sheep waiting to be sheared.

And why did she have this abrupt change of heart? It seems Randy is ill, seriously. Now, while that is sad to hear, he had a real opportunity to take of his people… and didn’t. Stunning, right?

Instead, he does what regretfully most charlatans… eh, pastors in his mega-position do – looks for the easiest transition and kickback for payola.

MEMO to said sheep dangling for a wool-cut, huddle up:

• Your church is $26 million in debt.
• This is a woman who thinks the Apostle Paul – as in the dude who wrote two-thirds of the New Testament – was a bad preacher.
• Your “pastor” (ish) is sick.
• Your relief comes in the form of a women who left her man for… fame.
• And, oh by the way, the U.S. government still thinks she is a crook.

And that is what you want for a pastor?!

I just have one question, you know where a brother can get a smooth Kashmir sweater for the winter months? I get cold really easy.

GOBAMA: Does Michelle Obama think the Pope died?

Over the weekend, our president and his missus traveled to the Vatican in continuation of the BarackStar’s World Tour 2009.

It should serve some good, since the Catholic Church has routinely been the most vociferous about Obama’s administration. They hated he was at Notre Dame giving a keynote address, and now, he is nuzzling up to Pope B16 for the first time.

So, there is Pope Benedict XVI and President Obama talking religion, reproduction and who each rooted for during the NBA Finals.

And there stood Michelle looking like she missed the bus to her kinfolks funeral!

No, not the fetching veil (or mantilla, as it’s known in more ecumenical circles). Believe it or not, that part customary for women.

This article from the Boston Globe brilliantly depicts life in pictures at the Vatican for women.

That said, I get the veil. I understand the tradition. But, um, what up with that bow, sister?!

Yeah, he’s rotund and that red scape shows a striking similarity, but he is not Santa Claus.

And, oh by the way, he is not dead… no matter how old the guy looks.

What’s with the monochromatic mourning look?

I think there is a sign above the Vatican entry that reads something like, “Unless you see black smoke, we are still in business. Willkommen.” (German, get it?)

According to HuffPo, the FLOTUS is a sucker for outfits that has already gotten rave reviews, so the blackout get-up is a recycled number she dawned in Prague meeting with the first Czech couple.

Memo to FLOTUS: Mix in a trip to Macy’s for the next pilgrimage to the Holy See.

Oh, and for the more fashionable sitting on the Wall, Missus O is wearing Moschino.

Cross Eyed: Who does this guy say he is?

I’ve often heard that if you look in the Bible long enough, you will find anything you want.

You know, like one of those misogynistic dinosaurs who believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen, will somehow find themselves ruminating Paul’s words to Timothy:

Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man (1 Timothy 2:11-12 NIV).

Yeah, that’s sweet. Good thing you’re not like your cousins and married to some barnyard animal, Grizzly Adams. I hear they fight back.

Anywhoo, I know the BarackStar is in the White House, but I adore watching back porch country bumpkin preachers try to legitimize the KKK card they have in their back pocket (along with coupons from Carl’s Jr., the Tub Club and for a pack of smokes at 7/11).

This hilarious video is no exception. Enjoy this week in video evangelism, which should prove another sage bit of advice Paul gave Timothy:

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman needeth not be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Timothy 2:15).

more about “Cross Eyed: Who does this guy say he is?“, posted with vodpod

Jesus is love… even if the Michael Jackson concert could care less

So, Michael Jackson was buried(ish) on global TV in front of more than 20,000 in attendance at the farewell concert tour… eh, memorial service.

It was a somber time for a genius entertainer (again, were you not entertained despite it all), and the world will never forget him. Well, not until the press forgets him first. Get this:

• 

  Look five rows back from the front. What fool wears red to a funeral?! Seriously?! Mr. Blackwell ain't going to be there.

  The television show… eh, memorial (I keep doing that) drew almost 31 million people in viewership. Now, now, before you MJ fans start holding up your sequenced-gloved pointer finger to Jesus shouting, “Number 1!” it was two million less than Princess Diana’s funeral and four million less than President Ronald Reagan’s.

• 19 television networks around the globe carried the thing! 19! I would be amazed, but hey, I can watch a car chase one five different networks from my couch, so not that impressive.
• It cost the city of Los Angeles more than $4 million. Well, how’s that whole California budget crisis going now, Governator?! At end of his term, I doubt “he’ll be baaaack.”
• The L.A. Mayor is asking the city to pay for it. No really, check the link if you’re so inclined. You know, here’s a thought. With all the talent fees that were represented on that stage at the Staples Center, maybe defer some of those costs… or better yet, take up a love offering. Yeah, that’ll happen. (P.S. Los Angeles has only raised $17,000. Keep it classy, L.A. We love it!)
• There is now a 1,500-word resolution in the U.S. Congress to call Michael Jackson a “global humanitarian.” Again, no really. Fitting this is coming from the U.S. Foreign Relations Committee. We really are the World, eh?
• And now, the lead spoke in the news cycle is who designed MJ’s suit fit for burial. Sigh. Do people really care about this mess? “Hey Mike’s mama? Who is he wearing?”

Okay, that was my rant. Now, for some Good News. If you were one of the 31 million who watched it, and some of the many more who scanned by one of the many channels… did you see Lionel Richie?

Since we know it was a concert, and a fancy speaking opportunity for Al not-so-Sharp-ton, Lionel made this thing what it was supposed to be – CHURCH!

My man solemnly took the stage, blew off the dust from one of hits back in the day with the great Commodores and sang… “Jesus is Love.”

As soon as those ivories began playing, I knew it! So, I’m sure, like so many others, my hands went upward and began getting my praise on! I don’t care the source. If Jesus glorified, you better recognize.

And if he can use an ass (It’s biblical, just sayin’), I’m positive he can use someone from Hollywood.

The point is this before we get to the entertainment portion of the post – and yes, that is the brilliant video from Lionel – while everyone else was posing for their camera angle, trying to get on American Idol and muggin’ for the millions watching TV, Lionel Richie understood what they needed – a word, a touch from God.

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. (Nahum 1:7 NIV)

No. Sorry. He is dead, but I can introduce you to someone who is alive if you need.

Sundry motives and opportunism set aside, there was some hurting people in that crowd. His fans, yes. His family, more so. His kids, definitely.

And among the paparazzi, the miserable profiteers (note the picture) and the panderers, I pray those kids heard Lionel Richie sing and saw him gesticulate to the heavens.

There was praise on that stage. There was emotion in his heart. And there was God in his mouth.

Jesus is love… and he will never let you down. Hit it, Lionel.