What? You thought I was going to pen, “Snow,” “Mountains” or perhaps “Mormons”?

Evidently, this is how they roll too

Please, most of the bricks on the Wall are plastered in irony. I couldn’t let you off that easy. You see, according to online buy rates and the Utah Deseret news (and some masonry by the Bible Belt Blogger), someone really needs to “sound the alarm in Zion.”

Ah, I love it when the double entendre works for both Pentecostals and oddball sects. Good times.

Utahns, famous for their wholesomeness and frugality, buy online pornography at higher rates than the rest of America. That’s the conclusion of a Harvard economics professor who tracked subscriptions to online porn sites. Utah ranks No. 1 in subscriptions, according to Benjamin Edelman, who reported his findings in the article “Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?”

It seems while the LDS Church was debating Proposition 8 in California, they were making online proposals of their own to starlets named Trixie and Delightful Darla. Stay classy, boys.

“Subscriptions are slightly more prevalent in states that have enacted conservative legislation on sexuality,” Edelman writes. In the 27 states where “defense of marriage” amendments have been adopted, there were 11 percent more porn subscribers than in other states, he reports. Use is higher also in states where more people agree with the statement “I never doubt the existence of God.”

So, let me get this right: where people have to create affront of pseudo-spirituality, there are mucho sins in the closet and in the computer. I wonder how much smut is a big player in genealogy, or on the planet Kolob.

I figure with all the getting busy done in space, Utahns are just getting practice for the big day. How’s that for a “Pearl of Great Price“?

I’d bet my autographed Joseph Smith medallion, skivvies from heaven and all my prayers for the dead that some one in the hallowed Temple is cursing Mark Twain. “Lies, damned lies and statistics,” you know.