Todd Bentley: HiScrivener’s take on the Christian taker himself

Posted: August 6, 2008 in Above the Fold, Denominational Fun, Inside 411, Keep it real, Networking, Snap, Crackle and POP Culture, Spin Doctor, Testify
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The naval sojourner known to the masses as Popeye once exclaimed, “That’s all I can stands and I can’t stands no more.”

So like the anchor clanker, I must let off some steam, eats me spinach and hum “Anchors Away” as I feverishly type. This should be a doozie.

Back when the Wall was being constructed, trends and stories were evident but one stood out from the rest like Kate Moss at a Jenny Craig study group – Todd Bentley.

I heard about the knees in the gut and literally knocking out some chic’s teeth, but I considered that charismatic ballyhoo and let it ride.

After all, I saw a guy get laid out in the power of God and landed with such veracity (no thanks to an apt “catcher” with alligator arms) that his toupee flew off at least 15 feet. True story.

But once you hear the same issues over and over and over again, you begin to think maybe it really is your breath that stinks and not everyone just making ugly faces at you. So I delved into the WWWorld (armed with my WWWord) to search for a respite and a resolution.

Initially, a BIG HEARTY shout out to the ‘other bricks in the Wall’ in here: Pulpit Pimps, I’m Speaking Truth and Slaughter of the Sheep. OTHER huzzahs to noted visitations of mine: Independent Conservative and Real Christianity. Those delicious blogs, and the vast array of information I found in the mainstream, helped with this much belabored post. (In other words, pack a lunch. You’ll be here awhile).

[BTW, what's a brutha' to do for a link on your blogrolls?! We're like-minded, share the same interests and could even have Tupperware parties... and some such. IJS.]

So, if I have been putting this off for a slow news day, then why the impetus now? Click and grab the barf bag:

Ah, after you grab the spearmint gum, wasn’t that portentous? A study Bible based on meetings that most theologians consider to be the largest sciamachy in Christendom since Jonestown?! And Todd Bentley doesn’t think we think that he thinks this will buy him a few more tattoos – wherever on his portly carcass he can find uninked flesh. Um, not so much.

What’s the beef? (Tee hee. I made a funny). Here’s a guy proclaiming the works of the Lord, laying hands on folk and doing it in the name of Jesus, right? WRONG! What’s the adage? “If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck…” Listen, after weeks of broadcasting live on GOD TV and his own tooled Web site, directing countless of people to Jesus (and evidently to the nearest ATM) and seeing them healed, isn’t it a little odd that dude would suddenly pack up his tent and leave the campfires of revival?!

Not if that duck was actually a CHICKEN! Note the lovely ABC News expose that allowed all of us to look behind the curtain to see just how withered the Wizard of Lakeland is:

It was so nice that ABC Nightline had to do it twice. (BTW, I know one of the producers on this piece. The joy that was had creating this voyeuristic butchery was utterly contagious).

Proof?! He said he has proof. Written proof, yet for some reason, he is opposed to due diligence as if it was a disease and he needs a healing for no immune system. He blacks out names, numbers and networks. Yeah, that’s too legit to quit, eh? Dude, let a pro give you a quickie on PR 101. Kinda like the book you should publish, “Revival for Dummies”. (And yes Melvin, that photoshopped picture is genius!)

If you have to hide your results, they may look contrived. If you feel the need to pimp yourself to the media only to act like the biggest tease at an all-girls’ school, you may look like a ho after all. If you need to vociferously promote your healings and beg the media to cover you, then turn around and run from the press when they can collectively smell the drivel you are shoveling, you may not be working in the same anointing of Christ who incidentally didn’t require a PR firm yet is still substantiated these millenia later. Hmmm…

In other words, the jig is up. This shameless story belongs on a special illuminated spot on the Wall. You were called out and like the bully that sticks a hamhock in the gut of unsuspecting folk, and run with tail tucked between your legs counting your cash all the way.

Evidently, there wasn’t enough duckets in your collections, because now you have this uh, “Bible” to sell. Great. Dude goes out and crushes about 15 Happy Meals between services, shows off a little more ink, crack some old lady in her mullet and instantly we have America’s next great fiction novel.

Whatever happens, rest assured, he will follow one example of Christ as he has given up the ghost! Think he will come back? Not unless he is escorted back to Lakeland with a subpoena. That guy has waddled to his last pulpit and drop kicked his last saint. If you have read any of the aforementioned sages, many scriptures discussing a false prophet and wicked fruit has raced across your vision like dead presidents has with Todd Bentley’s. However, here is another you may not have seen:

“Vengeance is mine, and recompense; their foot shall slip in due time; for the day of their calamity is at hand” (Deuteronomy 32:35)

Kinda’ takes the wind out of those large sails you call ‘jackets’, huh?

Remember the adage mentioned earlier? “Quack, quack bro.” You better find a nice pond where you can fly south because if you are the anathematic malefactor these videos and those countless testimonies portray you to be, then get used to that unfavorable and merciless heat. You are going to be feeling a lot of it where you are going.

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  15. Barry says:

    I am amazed that “writing on the wall” which is supposed to be Christian would allow such an unchristian unsubstantiated bitter diatribe by Paul Kambulow against his brother when the bible clearly states:

    TI 3:2 to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

    JMS 4:11 Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.

    It’s obvious to me that something is wrong with the nonconformer and he needs medical help as he is not all there!

    • hiscrivener says:

      Barry,

      I’ll censor language and major offense without blinking. But why prevent someone from stating a point of view to which some other blood bought believer could contribute, retort or better yet, educate? The original Wall was about hurling up warnings for man to be educated and ultimately edified. Much is the same for this wall. I appreciate the concern and keep the comments flowing.

      Peace,
      HiScrivener

  16. Re: WALTER KAMBULOW PRESENTLY OF BURLINGTON ONTARIO

    THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK..

    WALTER KAMBULOW PRESENTLY OF BURLINGTON ONTARIO WHO WAS, IS STILL A PENTECOSTAL, AND WHO WAS MARRIED IN A PENTECOSTAL CHURCH AND WHO PERSONALLY HAD INTRODUCED ME TO THE PENTECOSTAL RELIGION AS WELL, EVEN NEXT PERSONALLY HAD FIRST INTRODUCED ME TO TO BENNY HYMN INCLUDED. NOW. WLK HAD MOVED FROM MONTREAL, QUEBEC TO TAMPA FLORIDA AS WELL AS HE TOLD ME TO SPECIALLY BE NEAR BENNY HYNN AND HIS FLORIDA CHURCH IN REALITY TOO. NEXT ALL OF A SUDDEN OUT OF NO WHERE HE WALTER A FEW YEARS LATER IN TAMPA FLORIDA STARTS TO PROCLAIM THAT ALL PENTECOSTALS, CHARISMATIC’S ARE BAD DEMON POSSESSED.. TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE TO ME HIS TWIN BROTHER.. FIRSTLY WLK IS NO SAINT, HE HAS HAD NO GOOD CLOSE CHRISTIAN FRIENDS IN FACT IN THE LAST 3 DECADES AS WELL.. HE AND HIS WIFE NOW TOO, WALTER ARE A CHEAT, LIAR, THIEF, TAX EVADER, BULLY, LIAR, INVOLVED IN FALSE, UNETHICAL, RESTRICTIVE BUSINESS PRACTICES, AND MUCH MORE, AND OFTEN, DAILY IN THEIR OWN PERSONAL LIFE THE LAST MANY YEARS TOO AS I HAVE WITNESSED UNDENIABLY TOO.. IRONICALLY IT WAS ME WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TORONTO AIRPORT FELLOWSHIP LAWSUIT CAUSE WALTER NOW WAS COMPLAINING TO ME NO ONE WAS BUYING, READING HIS BOOKS SPECIALLY ON THE CROOKED EVANGELICAL PASTORS IN NORTH AMERICA. SO I BELIEVE IN FREEDOM OF SPEECH, DISCUSSIONS TOO, NEXT I MAILED ONE OF HIS BOOKS TO TO 300 PENTECOSTAL PASTORS IN CANADA AND HE WALTER NEXT GOT THE LAWSUIT, AND THAT WAS THEIR WRONG RESPONSE TO HIS BOOK.. I SPECIALLY HAD HELPED WALTER NEXT IN THE ONTARIO QUEEN COURT ON HOW TO GET OUT OF THE TACF LAWSUIT, BUT I NEXT DID NOT APPROVE OF HIM WALTER NEXT SUING TACF. RATHER HE SHOULD FORGIVE AND FORGET. SOMETHING HE CANNOT DO IN REALITY. I HAVE TO SAY MY OPINION OF MANY OTHER CHRISTIANS HAS GREATLY DIMINISHED WHEN I READ THE MANY PRAISES SENT UPON WALTER FOR HIS ONE SIDED BASHING OF PENTECOSTALS AND CHARISMATICS. IT SADLY, REALISTICALLY MAKES ME THINK THAT WLK IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ROOT PROBLEM OF THE MUCH TOO EVANGELICAL PEOPLE IN THE FLESH WHO CLEARLY WRONGFULLY DO HATE THE HOLY SPRIT AND FIGHT HIM, HIS GIFTS, AND HIS FALLIBLE PREACHERS NOW TOO.

    Paul Kambulow

    (2 Cor 4:7 KJV) But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us.

    (2 Cor 4:8 KJV) We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

    (2 Cor 4:9 KJV) Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;

    (2 Cor 4:10 KJV) Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.

    (2 Cor 4:11 KJV) For we which live are alway delivered unto death for Jesus’ sake, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our mortal flesh.

    http://posted.wordpress.com/

  17. [...] revival, but once they got ‘revived’, all bets were off. Good thing this wasn’t a Todd Bentley crusade, they would have called in the National Guard and really got to [...]

  18. [...] thing about a relationship with Jesus. Everything is honky dory, and then one day (in the words of the fraudulent crook Todd Bentley), “BAM!” Something happens that causes you to look inward so you can start expressing [...]

  19. Bashing Pentecostals Christians, evangelists, on the net even by even the fundamentals is a popular sport in the Roman coliseum it seems these days too

    It even seems too many professing, evangelical, Christians still think they can lie about, slander, abuse others, other Christians on the enter and they can get away with it too, because the net is supposedly unregulated. and because if their own right of free speech. Free speech is a right you still have to use wisely, But one can be sued for libel on the net still in Canada according to the Queen’s courts, and this should applied now in Australia, Great Brian and other commonwealth countries now too. In Canada the RCMP certainly admits to monitoring the net.. While the Internet is in Canada unregulated by the government , the Police courts still do regulate internet abuse. Of specific interest was the continual ongoing consistency of deformation of character, personal attacks, Libel, slander, bullying, the invasion of privacy too. http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/08/09/libel-on-the-net/

  20. Sued? For his views on Todd Bentley. Hardly.

    Comment by Polycarp | August 8, 2008

    Reference the inapplicable and overly simplifed comments of yours..

    Undeniably too many of the big TV Evangelist, big Pentecostal preachers ,have started to sue their critics on the net too, Benny Hinn included..

    “Great Florida Outpouring – Endorsements Posted on June 17, 2008. A number of leaders in the Body of Christ are going to be in Lakeland on June 23th to bless the Outpouring. Bill Johnson, Che Ahn, C. Peter Wagner, John and Carol Arnott, among others, will be there according to the announcement Todd made last night.” 20 selective comments so far.. real negative comments are excluded.

    Now ”Why Is Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship Angry? Posted by Job on May 29, 2008 Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship – the home of the liars and perjurers including John Arnott and Steve Long – are upset for being exposed for what they truly are sons of disobedience and sons of hell and are taking at least one person to court contrary to scriptures to protest about his online books which are too hot for them to handle! It’s also amazing that we have operating freely in Toronto Canada, liars, perjurers and thieves in Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship including John Arnott and Steve Long with impunity or without rebuke from anybody about their financial crimes, their hate crimes, lies and perjury!

    But it’s not amazing that these scoundrels, liars, and perjurers would not submit as per “The order of Justice James H. Clarke of January 15, 2008” which stated “ THIS COURT ORDERS THAT the Defendants shall serve on the Plaintiff by email and file their Statement of Defense within ten days,” a Statement of Defense to this former member regarding his $100 million dollar Lawsuit Court File No: 6447/07 filed in Milton, Ontario, with the Superior Court of Ontario and now revised to $ 300 million.

    And if this Christian nonprofit charity TACF and its executives John Arnott and Steve Long can defy and ignore the order of Justice James H. Clarke and do whatever they want so can every other Canadian. Toronto Airport Christian Fellowship sets by its example that any Christian can be lawless, liars, thieves, and perjurers and not respect the rule of law!”

    Hey I have said it there are no winners, here, the pastors, and supporter from both sides, lie, distort, bash in their endorsement, or criticism, and present mostly partial or half truths it seems.. Anyone think still that having John and Carol Arnott there is a good endorsement? Not me!!!

    It was, is clearly evident, in this present ungodly Internet wars, in the Ontario Queen’s Commercial court actions between the Toronto Airport Christian fellowship Church, it’s pastors too, and Walter Kambulow of Burlington, Ontario, that both sides are involved in revengeful acts, wanting now to pay each other back through the courts now as well. What anyone still foolish to believe any of them are even now real Christians? And Walter Kambulow firstly admitting to being guilty of unintentionally violating a Canadian court order is not the same thing as any of the parties now yet being found guilty of deliberate libel, or slander.. but so far it is clearly apparent that both sides here still really are not playing fairly, respecting the spirit or the latter, intent of the Canadian court orders, and yes both sides Toronto Airport Christian fellowship Church, it’s pastors too, and Walter Kambulow of Burlington, Ontario undeniably are still not at all good examples of Christianity so far too. A clearly eye for an eye approach by both parties still is clearly a carnal approach and not a Christian one. You would have firstly thought the Church pastors themselves would have set a better example here too. I rightfully still have no respect for any of them now too.

    In love the unacceptable Pentecostal bashers, critics under disguise of supposedly posting the truth, who mostly still do use the same unoriginal, ungodly, lame-brained, fool’s types of arguments, are not only clearly dishonest, uninspired, boring but they do also mostly have a personal agenda that is so transparent that sadly they are are an embarrassment, their agenda clear involves the fact want to uplift themselves, their own gospel, sect, denomination mostly still as well. In love they should really read and practice the whole Bible firstly themselves.

    Sow the wrong seed and you can also next reap a whirl wind , church pastors included now, and there is really no such thing as a little bit allowable sins for pastors included, no such thing as being a little bit pregnant here too.. and it is still clearly unacceptable for any Pastors to counsel a man’s wife behind his back and without his knowledge, approval, permission, but even this sadly an unacceptable common occurrence in evangelical churches now too, even in the Brethren, Baptist, Alliance and Pentecostals churches now too.. and this is how the war against the perverse pastors’ of the Toronto airport church and other similar bad churches had next escalated. When any spouse starts to talk to others about their family affairs they now are next definitely headed towards divorce wars as well..

    Many many pastors do wrongfully still think that the citizens complaints about them is all a big joke, they laugh at it, mock them too. Don’t believe me, just do an internet search “Walter Kambulow” and see their poor responses to his writings. Pastors falsely think they are above the law and yet many of them have, do threaten to sue you when you get too close and personal about them. They want it both ways, they cannot though. They the evangelical pastors firstly do need to get real, to act like real Christians firstly now and work for God rather then self. They seem to have nice cars, nice homes, great salaries, expensive perks, vacations and too too many of them.. Pastors Jim Baker, Jimmy Swaggart was not the first or last pervert, crook. The bad pastors are trying to get falsely their rewards on earth it seems and not in heaven.. Do what I say and not what I do is what they also preach.

    so why was walter kambulow sued?

    be cause he said that bad pastors were bad friends of Todd Bentley or what?

    http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/the-spin-game-evangelicals-and-their-leaders-pastors-do-play-now/

    http://thechurchofjesuschrist.wordpress.com/2008/07/23/finally-revival-evangelist-to-fold-his-lakeland-tent/

  21. (John 15:19 KJV) If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

    (John 15:23 KJV) He that hateth me hateth my Father also.

    (1 John 2:9 KJV) He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.

    (1 John 2:11 KJV) But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

    (1 John 3:15 KJV) Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.

    (1 John 4:20 KJV) If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?

  22. Excellent post brother. I’m glad to see another brother with biting wit taking on the assault on Christ’s church.

    Bentley is a demonic tool. Period. The more people who sound off on this nutjob, the better. Now that you’ve posted an article on him, expect the sympathizers to hit your comment sections (and the death threats to hit your email inbox).

    BTW – I added you to my blogroll – what else do you want, priority posting status? :lol:

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